


A Wee Bit of a Problem

by Jaylen0827



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst and Humor, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-10
Updated: 2015-05-02
Packaged: 2018-03-22 05:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 30,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3716920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jaylen0827/pseuds/Jaylen0827
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the midst of a conflict with his mother, Jim is de-aged by a transporter malfunction. Poor Bones has his work cut out for him, trying to figure out what the problem is, while Jim is driving his crew nuts as an adult and as a child.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> In this universe, Christopher Pike is alive and well. Takes place after Star Trek 2009.

* * *

**Prologue**

The computer screen was flashing again letting Jim know he had another message. Reluctantly, he walked over and glanced at the screen.

Yes, it was who he thought it was - his mother.

Jim immediately felt the muscle in his jaw tense as he clenched his teeth. His mom had been messaging him for weeks, demanding he come back to earth. The only reason she wanted him there was for appearances sake. He recalled their conversation from weeks before, "How is it going to look if you don't show up? I'm going to look like a fool there all alone. Everyone knows you within starfleet now," she had complained, "if you don't show up, they're going to think you're snubbing me! I don't want people thinking we have problems with our relationship."

"We do have problems, mom. The only reason you want me there is for your image. You'll just have to make-due with Sam; he's willing to do the family solidarity thing. I can't pretend to be the loving son." He had disconnected after that.

That had been five weeks ago and Jim still hurt inside thinking about the conversation.

His mom was sending him messages every few days, coming up with every reason she could think of to get him to come home. Unfortunately, she never said the one thing that would have made Jim go. She never said, 'I love you and need you there. Hell, she didn't even have to say, 'I love you,' just that she needed him there for moral support. Jim knew better than to expect his mom to say, 'I love you.' She had never said it once in the past twenty-seven years.

He hit the delete button and walked out of his cabin.


	2. Chapter 2

* * *

Doctor McCoy was sitting in his office waiting for his captain to arrive. He shifted uncomfortably in his seat; he was not looking forward to this discussion. A discussion that had to take place between the Enterprise's captain and its chief medical officer. Leonard wasn't sure how this talk was going to go, but he had to try, it was his job. Morale on the Enterprise was starting to suffer; the crew had been tip-toeing around its captain the last few weeks. Jim would stalk down the corridors, and the crew would avert their eyes, trying not to draw his attention.

Last week, the captain had ripped into the security department for not getting one hundred percent on their emergency response time testing; they had achieved a mere ninety-eight percent efficiency. He made them do emergency response training the whole week until they achieved ten percent above the established standards. The week before that, the bio-labs were the object of his dissatisfaction and the week before that, the bridge crew on gamma shift.

Rumor had it, that this morning, an ensign from engineering left a spanner on the floor and the captain almost tripped on it. Luckily, Mr. Scott had grabbed the captain, averting an accident and then upbraided the ensign for his carelessness, thereby forestalling the captain's retribution.

It was only a matter of time before Jim blew his top. The question was, why?

The door to McCoy's office swished open and Jim Kirk strode in. "Ok, Bones, make it quick. The away team is waiting. I have to be planet-side in ten."

"Jim, have a seat," McCoy offered.

There were a few beats of silence.

The captain tilted his head, "What's this about?"

McCoy sighed, "I'll speak plainly. It's about you Jim, you've been on the muscle for weeks now. You've got the whole crew tied up in knots, trying to anticipate who you're going to tear into next. Your crew loves you and they have always gone out of their way to please you, they don't deserve this. Talk to me Jim, what's going on?"

Jim drew himself up stiffly, hands on hips, "I don't have time for this right now, doctor."

"Well you're goin' to make time for this, Captain!" McCoy yelled, standing abruptly. He then paused, shaking his head. "Jim, I'm asking you, as a friend, to tell me what's wrong. Don't make me demand it as your CMO, because I will. You're damn close to having a mutiny on your hands if you keep this up." He walked around the desk and stopped in front of Kirk, "Talk to me!"

Kirk's shoulders slumped and he rubbed his forehead, "That bad, huh? Ok, Bones. I promise I will talk to you about this, but I really don't have the time right now. It's kind of complicated and I need more than five minutes to explain the situation." Jim gave his best friend a chagrined look, smiling slightly, "I guess I really have been a jackass lately, I'm sorry."

McCoy laid a hand on Jim's shoulder, "Apology accepted, but I'm not the one you need to apologize to. You need to deal with whatever this is and make it up to the crew. Ease up on them Jim," he said earnestly.

"I will, I promise. I have to beam down to Sestis IV right now, but as soon as I get back aboard we'll talk."

"Alright," McCoy capitulated, giving the captain a slight shove, "go on then. I'll see you later. We'll have a talk over Saurian brandy, tonight, after dinner."

"It's a date." Jim smiled a little sadly at his friend, gave him a salute, and walked out.


	3. Chapter 3

* * *

"Mr. Spock, is the away team assembled in the transporter room?" The captain questioned his first officer, as they walked down the corridor.

"Yes, sir. Assembled and awaiting beam-down. Sestis IV is ready to lower planetary shields at our signal," Spock stiffly replied.

Jim glanced over at his first officer, noting the stiff back and forward eyes. Thinking of Bone's comments, he came to a decision, "Mr. Spock, I apologize for my behavior these past few weeks. It has been brought to my attention, that I have been, perhaps, too harsh with the crew. I have had something on my mind, If I have offended you in any way, I'm sorry."

"You have not treated me offensively, in any way, these past few weeks, Captain."

"But I have done something to offend you. Come on Spock, out with it."

"It is of a personal nature Captain and not really my business."

"So, it's my business and it's bothering you. Come on Commander, give."

"As you wish. I could not help but notice the other day, when we were in your cabin, that you deleted a message from your mother, without giving reply. I simply cannot conceive of being so disrespectful to a parent."

Jim's back stiffened. Taking a deep breath, he tried to be patient and diplomatic, "I see. Perhaps from your point of view, having so recently lost your mother, this would seem an egregious act. I'm sorry if my actions offend you, but you don't have an understanding of the situation."

"I fail to see what there is to understand, you were simply rude."

That was it; Jim did not have the patience for this after all, "When I want your opinion on my personal life, Commander, I will ask for it. You viewed a private incoming message, and you were right, it's none of your business."

"You did ask."

"Yes, and I'm sorry I did," Jim finished, as they entered the transporter room.

* * *

 

"Captain, you had better not stay any longer sir, this ion storm is gettin' worse," Mr. Scott relayed to his captain.

"Understood, Mr. Scott. Just a few more moments."

"Aye, sir."

Mr. Scott looked over at Ensign Jacobs and shook his head, "I dinnae like these readings," he said, turning his attention back to the console. The ion storm was causing the instrumentation readings to fluctuate.

Finally, the captain's voice sounded over the communicator link. "Enterprise, one to beam up."

"Yes, sir. Beaming up," the ensign replied, and Mr. Scott sighed in relief.

Ensign Jacobs adjusted the controls and initiated the beam-up, but Interference from the ion storm was causing the transporter rematerialization to fade in and out.

The chief engineer pushed the transporter technician aside, "Here let me do that."

He adjusted the controls. The transporter beam finally coalesced into a person, but it was not their captain standing upon the transporter pad, at least, not the captain they knew. In his place, was a small blond-haired child. The gold command shirt he was wearing hung off one shoulder, the arms almost reaching to the ground. The pants were puddling around him with a pair of black boot tips peeking out at the bottom of the pile. The child was looking around him in shock.

"Holy shit!" The technician exclaimed, startling the child who, in his attempt to take a step back, fell on his bottom in the over-large boots. A small "Oof" came out of the child.

"I doubt anything holy, has to do with this," stated Mr. Scott, "but this is definitely a mess. Transporter room to bridge," he called.

"Spock here, Mr. Scott. Is the captain back aboard?"

"Ahh, we have a "wee" bit of a problem here."

"Clarify."

"I think you need to see this for yourself, Commander."

"On my way, Spock out."

* * *

 

Scotty turned his eyes upon the child, studying him for a few moments and being studied in return. The child looked to be only four or five years of age, with white-blond hair and huge, blue eyes. He walked around the console, approaching the child.

"Here laddie, why don't we get you down from there," he said, reaching down under the child's arms and plucking him off the floor. The pants and boots were left behind in his wake. The boy stiffened in Mr. Scott's arms and pushed against his chest. "Ach, laddie, no reason t' fear, we're all friends here and we'll get this straightened out," he said, bouncing the boy to get him to relax, as he headed toward the door.

The transporter technician stood gaping. "Close your mouth, Mr. Jacobs, you're catchin' flies."

Just then, the door slid open and Mr. Spock strode in. The child's eyes grew even bigger and he leaned in closer towards Mr. Scott, obviously seeing him as the lesser threat.

Spock stopped in his tracks and took in the scene, noting the gold command shirt hanging off the child in Mr. Scott's arms. His eyes cut over to the transporter pad and took in the pants and boots.

"The captain, I presume?" he directed to Mr. Scott.

"Aye sir, near as I can tell. The transporter beam was disrupted by the ion storm and the little laddie is what we got. We don't dare use the transporter, till we've figured this out."

"Very well Mr. Scott, I will take the captain to sickbay for observation," he said, "while you start work on the transporter. Please inform the away team of the circumstances, and that the time of their return is, at this point, indeterminate. I will contact the consulate on Sestis IV and make arrangements for their housing."

"Aye, sir, I'll let them know, I'll also give Dr. McCoy a heads-up." Mindful of his small guest, he addressed the child, "This is the ship's first officer, Mr. Spock. Say hello, laddie."

"Hello Mr. Spot," the child obediently replied. He turned towards Scotty and loudly whispered, "He looks scary."

At the comment, both of Spock's eyebrows went up to his hair line, Scotty pressed his lips together, and the transporter tech covered his mouth to stifle a laugh at the child's announcement.

"I know he looks a bit strange, but Mr. Spock is alright, laddie. He won't hurt you," Scotty explained, with a smile. He then held the child out for his commander to take.

Mr. Spock just clasped his hands behind his back. He raised one eyebrow as he questioned, "Are the child's legs not functioning?"

Muttering something under his breath that made the child giggle, Scotty put him down on the transporter room floor. "Alright laddie," he said, going down on one knee, "let's adjust these clothes so ya can walk."

Scotty appraised the child's clothing like any engineering problem, he noted the long socks half off the boy's feet, and the dress-like shirt with sleeves down past the boy's knees. As Scotty started rolling up the long sleeves, he asked the small boy, "So laddie, what do you prefer t' be called, Jim or James?"

The child looked at Mr. Scott with considering eyes, analyzing the situation. 'How do they know my name? Maybe my mom sent me here,' he thought. James T. Kirk was not a stupid child, in fact, everyone was always saying how smart he was. He recognized the starfleet emblems and knew he must be on a starship. He was just confused about the getting there part and the funny, too big clothes. 'Well,' he reasoned, 'if my mom is here, I'd better behave until she explains.' Making a decision, the boy leaned forward to whisper his reply.

"Jimmy it is. You can call me Scotty! Now take hold of my arm and lift one foot and we'll see about makin' due with these socks. Do ya ken?" Scotty gave the boy a big smile, "I'm the chief engineer, I think I can come up with something."

Shyly returning the smile, Jimmy grabbed on and lifted a foot trustingly.

Once the boy's outfit was travel worthy, Mr. Spock turned to the engineer, "Mr. Scott, please keep me informed of any progress. James, if you would follow me?"

Spock walked to the transporter room door and it swished open, he turned, expectantly waiting for the child to follow. Jimmy looked up at Mr. Scott, hesitant to leave the nice man.

"Go ahead along now," Scott said, giving the boy an encouraging smile. "He doesn't bite."

Spock just shook his head slightly, sighing.

The small child's shoulders slumped and he turned obediently to follow Mr. Spock.

Mr. Scott watched the child follow after the first officer and the door slide shut. Shaking his head, he chuckled, "Poor wee bairn," with that, he sighed and turned back to the console. His mind was already going over the transporter dilemma, and possible scenarios. They needed to solve this problem and get their captain back. Hopefully, when they got him back, he'd be in a better mood than he had been in that morning.


	4. Chapter 4

* * *

 

Mr. Spock had to slow his steps to accommodate his small captain. 'No,' he thought, 'this is not my captain. It is just a small, innocent, prepubescent child, who will one day grow into my rude, disrespectful captain. Although, he does not appear to be overly rude or disrespectful at this age. I will reserve judgment at this time.'

Spock noted that, though everyone who passed by in the corridor was gawking at the child, he did not seem to care. His shyness evaporated the minute they left the transporter room. His little head swiveled right, left, up and down, as he processed everything he saw, Spock had to admire the child's curiosity. There did not seem to be any mental impairment due to the de-aging process..

He looked the child over as he literally bounced down the corridor. He appeared to be physically fit as well. Thinking to check the child's memory, Spock asked, "James, do you know where you are?"

"I think so, Mr. Spot. This is a federation starship, isn't it, sir?" he answered Spock, as they entered the turbolift.

Spock's eyebrow went up, "Sickbay," he commanded as he pushed a button in the turbolift. "Yes, it is. How did you come to that conclusion?" he queried.

"I rec'nized the starfleet 'mblems," he stated proudly. "Pretty smart huh? Sam says I'm smart, too smart for my own good. Guess that means I'm super smart. Is Sam here too? Why are we going to sickbay? I'm not sick. Am I talkin' too much? I can stop, if ya want me to. Where's mom? Did she send for us? Is she in sickbay?" For a moment, he looked panicked, "She's not sick is she? Is that why you brought me here?" Spock barely shook his head no, when the child was distracted by a female crewmen entering the lift, who smiled at him. "Ooo, look. That lady is pretty!" The boy then flashed her a big smile.

'Hmm,' Spock thought, as the female crewmen smiled back, 'perhaps not so innocent.'

"I don't 'member mom sending for us. I'm not in trouble, am I? Which ship is this? Does it go fast? Wow, this lift is fast," he exclaimed as they exited the turbolift on deck seven. "I like fast ships. I've been on a starship before, ya know. Captain Chris took me on one once, to s'prise mom for Christmas. Only, I don't think she thought it was a good idea. She yelled at Chris. Is she gonna think me bein here is a good idea, Mr. Spot?"

They had come to sickbay and the doors were open. Dr. McCoy was standing in the doorway, arms crossed, awaiting their arrival, having been notified of the transporter mix up by Mr. Scott. He had heard the small voice chattering as they approached and was listening to the tail end of the conversation with a smirk on his face, enjoying watching Spock deal with this pint-sized ball of energy.

A small James Kirk was now looking up at Spock expectantly.

Spock turned and looked at the little face. It took him a moment to order his thoughts. The child was obviously worried, brows pulled together, as he awaited Spock's reply. Spock took a deep breath and addressed the child's questions in chronological order. "No, Sam is not here. You are going to sickbay, purely, as a precautionary measure. Yes, you speak excessively, but no, you do not need to restrict your loquacity for me. I would assume your mother is on her posted starfleet ship, she is not in sickbay. As far as I know, she is not ill. She did not send for you. You came here by way of a transporter malfunction. Yes, Ensign Phillips would be considered attractive by human standards. Whether you are in trouble or not, is debatable. This is the USS Enterprise. Yes, it goes very fast, although right now, we are in orbit around a planet, Sestis IV. Finally, no, in my estimation, I do not think your mother would consider you being here - a good idea. I, myself, am unquestionably undergoing a certain amount of reluctance with the situation."

By the time Spock had finished, the child's bottom lip was trembling and tears were filling his eyes.

"Spock, you have all the sensitivity of a rock!" McCoy yelled at him, startling the child from his pending breakdown.

"Doctor, I was simply answering the child's inquiries."

"Can't you see he's traumatized? He needs comfort, not Vulcan logic!"

"Are you suggesting that I should withhold information from the child?"

"No, just don't be so brutally honest with the information."

Jimmy's little head swiveled back and forth watching the two adults arguing. He immediately zeroed in on McCoy's sympathy. When they finally stopped arguing and looked at him, obviously for signs of trauma, Jimmy calculatingly turned to the doctor and burst into tears.

Spock's eyes squinted slightly, as he observed the child's behavior.

McCoy scooped the wailing child up protectively, his fatherly instincts at the forefront. He was glaring at Spock as he cradled the child's head against his shoulder. "See what you did?" he accused. "Shh, don't cry, it's all right. Don't let that hobgoblin upset you. How about I check you over to make sure you're all right and then we get you a big bowl of ice cream. I bet I can guess your favorite flavor. Would you like that?"

Jimmy sniffled and nodded his head.

"All right then. Let's go get you fixed up," McCoy said, giving Spock one last glare.

As Spock watched the doctor walk off, still cradling the child against his shoulder, Jimmy lifted his head, looked pointedly at Spock and scrunching his nose, stuck out his tongue.

Spock's eyebrows shot up as he was forced to reconsider his earlier observation, "This is definitely my captain."


	5. Chapter 5

* * *

 

McCoy was standing off to one side watching his small charge, while consulting with Dr. M'Benga. They could not find anything wrong with the young captain, he was a perfectly healthy five and a-half year old, at least, that's what all the biosensors confirmed. They had no idea what had caused this regression or when, or if, the captain would return to normal. Mr. Spock and Mr. Scott were in charge of solving this mystery.

As McCoy observed, he could not help wondering at the child's resiliency. 'My Joanna wouldn't have been this calm,' he thought. The nurses were surrounding the child, regaling him with stories, while he stuffed himself with ice cream. 'Maybe this was that Kirk-factor, even at five years of age Jim has every nurse in sick-bay wrapped around his little finger and fawning all over him.' He snorted aloud at that thought and Dr. M'Benga looked toward his source of amusement.

"He is quite the little charmer, isn't he?" M'Benga commented.

"That he is. I keep waiting for the trauma or stress to show up though. This cannot be easy on a five-year old, strange place, strange people. Hell, I don't know, maybe Jim was always self-possessed, even at a young age."

"Well, you will just have to wait and see. Maybe Mr. Spock will have this figured out soon and we'll have our captain back before long."

"Ha! Spock will figure this out just to be rid of him. You should have seen him earlier, couldn't figure out what to do with the kid, like a fish out of water. Hmph! Maybe they don't have kids on Vulcan, they're just born adults," McCoy grumbled.

M'Benga gave a short laugh and walked off.

McCoy really was concerned. He had heard the comments the child made, about his mother not being glad to see him during Christmas. He would have to contact Admiral Pike and talk to him. He knew Chris Pike had known Jim when he was young. 'The Chris that Jimmy had mentioned had to be Admiral Pike,' he thought. 'Maybe he can shed some light on the child's psyche.'

* * *

 

McCoy decided it was time to put an end to the James Kirk fan club; the child was going to be sick if he ate any more ice cream. He had already eaten the bowl that McCoy had given him, and two more, the nurses had supplied him with.

Jimmy looked up at him, as McCoy approached, "Hi Doc!" he chirped, with a big, pink ice cream smile.

'Hopefully not strawberry,' McCoy thought, 'or he'll be breaking out in hives!'

"Hi. What flavor do ya have there Jimmy?" he asked.

"Strawberry!"

"Great, just great." The doctor gave the collected women a squinty-eyed look. They all knew that look and quickly ran for cover. Within thirty seconds, they were alone.

"Where'd everyone go?" Jimmy asked, looking around. "Did you scare them off?" he asked suspiciously.

McCoy grabbed the half-empty bowl of strawberry ice cream from the boy's hands, ignoring his question.

"Hey, I wasn't done with that," he objected.

"You are now. You're allergic to strawberries. Now you're goin' to break out in hives!"

"How do you know?" the child argued.

"I just do!" He couldn't be telling the boy the truth, which would really put him over the top.

The child's eyes narrowed, as he pinned McCoy with a look.

'Wow,' McCoy thought, 'only five and he can still do that look.'

"I know because I ran allergy tests on your blood," he bluffed.

That seemed to satisfy his small adversary. The boy huffed and crossed his arms.

'Uh oh, I've seen that look before also, time for a diversion.' Thinking fast, McCoy suggested, "Hey Jimmy, how 'bout we go get us a cheeseburger?"

Bingo! The child's eyes lit up.

"Ok," he chirped.

"Let me just get you some medicine for those hives and then we'll go." McCoy walked across the room to load up a hypospray. A few moments later, when he turned around with it, the kid was gone.

"Ah shit!" he exclaimed.


	6. Chapter 6

* * *

 

McCoy stomped over to the wall comm and poked it with more force than was necessary.

"McCoy to Spock."

"Spock here."

"He's escaped."

"Why does this not surprise me. Well, find him doctor."

"I'm a doctor, not a security expert!"

"Have you tried locating him using the computer?"

McCoy felt embarrassment redden his face, "Oh, I didn't think of that. I was too rattled. Give me a minute." He could imagine Spock rolling his eyes.

"Computer, locate James T. Kirk," the doctor commanded.

"Locating," came the mechanical voice, "James T. Kirk located, laboratory 2B, deck seven."

"Spock, he's in the lab down the hall. I'll go get him."

"Make sure you don't lose him this time doctor. A starship is no place for a small child to be wandering alone. Spock out."

McCoy snarled and lifted his middle finger towards the comm unit.

* * *

 

Jimmy watched the doctor grab a hypo and walk across the room to a cabinet. Eyes widening, he made a decision, a shot wasn't worth a cheeseburger. Quietly jumping down from the biobed, he was in the next room and out the door in a flash, his stockinged feet making no sound. Turning left, he scurried off down the corridor in his baggy shirt. He found a small, empty laboratory and ducked into it, knowing he had to get out of the corridor. 'Now,' he wondered, 'where to go?' Visually scanning the room, he spotted a desk with a computer, exactly what he needed. A very mischievous look came over his face.

"Computer, show me a map of the ship." He touched the screen, enlarging the areas he wanted to view.

He quickly studied the map and made up his mind. Looking toward the back of the lab, he spotted the door he needed. Hurrying across the room, he then entered a bathroom and looked up on the wall.

"Ha, bathrooms always have a vent. This is goin' ta be fun."

The small boy hiked up his long shirt and pulled himself up onto the counter. Now within reach, he pried open the cover, climbed in, replaced it, and disappeared along a ventilation shaft.

* * *

 

McCoy leaned out of the doorway and double-checked the number outside the room.

"Yup, this is lab 2B."

He bent down and searched under the tables and around the room one more time, just to make sure. 'Nope, no small child.' Blowing out a breath, he walked over to the computer, "Computer, locate James T. Kirk."

"James T. Kirk located, deck six."

With a groan, McCoy ran to the lift and sped to deck six. He stepped out of the lift and looked right and left, no small child. Most of this deck was enlisted quarters. He raced up and down a few corridors, asking anyone he saw, if they had seen a small child wearing a baggy gold shirt. All he found were a lot of strange looks. He ran to the forward observation lounge and scanned it for a small child. Nope.

"Computer, locate James T. Kirk," he huffed out of breath.

"James T. Kirk located, deck five."

"Oh for the love of god!" he yelled. He raced back to the lift and went up to deck five. Deck five had the officers quarters and the transporter room. 'I really hope he is not heading for the transporter room, I don't want to explain this to Spock.'

The first thing he did was go to a wall unit.

"Computer locate James T. Kirk."

"James T. Kirk located, deck five."

"Yes!" McCoy yelled.

Suddenly Nyota Uhura's voice came over the wall comm, "Leonard, is that you who keeps asking the computer to locate the captain? You're driving me crazy! Anytime someone does a locate on the captain, I am informed," she complained.

"Driving YOU crazy?! That pint-sized menace is driving ME crazy. I've been chasing him through three decks!" He yelled, turning red in the face.

"Doctor," Spock's voice came on, "do you have your communicator with you?"

"Yes, Spock," he answered, taking a deep breath and trying to calm down. 'Crap, Spock knows, how embarrassing.'

"We will track the captain from here on the bridge and inform you of his location. That should save you valuable time."

"Sounds good." At this point, he would take any help he could get. "Where is he on deck five, can you tell?"

"It appears he is no longer on deck five, he is now on deck eight."

"You gotta be kidding me! Whadda ya mean he's on deck eight?! I'm standin' right in front of the friggin lift. How did he get to deck eight?"

There were a few moments of silence and then...

"Oh no." McCoy moaned, "No, no, no." It made sense. "Dammit Spock, please don't tell me a five-year old is climbing through the walls."

"Actually doctor, I think that is exactly what he is doing," Spock replied. "He is a very resourceful five-year-old. It seems he realized he had to climb up over the turbolift shaft to access the ventilation shafts leading astern."

"Ya don't have to sound so pleased about it," McCoy grouched.

"He is now passing through the dorsal decks eleven through thirteen. Using his past locations and extrapolating, I believe he is heading for engineering. Shall I alert security?"

"No!" then quieter, "no, don't do that. I don't want to scare him. Let Scotty know he's heading down there and I'll go down myself to help find him. Ya know, familiar face."

"Alright doctor, I will contact you if he seems to be deviating from the projected path. Please inform me when you have him. Spock out." 


	7. Chapter 7

* * *

 

Jimmy was enjoying himself immensely. He was small enough where he could run through the vents slightly bent over. The first couple of decks, he had to use the ladders to climb up to the next levels. That was a little hard in his oversized shirt, so he took it off and tied it around his waist. He knew from looking at the map, that he had to go up to deck five to be above the turbolift shaft. Once he made his way to the stern of the saucer on deck five, he could slide down the ventilation shaft all through the dorsal section. Most people didn't know it, but the ventilation system was designed to be traversed, as an emergency escape route. Captain Chris had told him all about it; all the star ships had it in them. He untied the shirt from around his waist and sat on it. Jimmy had to force himself not to giggle, so he wouldn't be heard. The ventilation shaft had enough of a slant, between the decks, to make it exciting going down. The ducts on the Enterprise were so much more fun than the Exeter.

When Jimmy finally came to a stop, he was on deck fourteen, engineering section. Now he just had to climb down to deck 16 and find the engineering office and Mr. Scott.

* * *

 

The small child was miserable by time he reached deck sixteen. His nose was running, he was sneezing, and his stomach and throat were itching, something awful.

'Hmm, maybe I am 'lergic ta strawberries,' he thought, as another sneeze escaped him.

A short distance down the shaft, he could hear a grate opening. A head popped into view. Jimmy held very still, he couldn't really make out the person's face. He was standing in the dark, and the light shining through the grate opening was causing a halo effect around the person.

"Ah, here ya are laddie, I was wonderin' when ya were goin tae show up."

Jimmy was relieved to hear Mr. Scott's voice, "How did ya know I was comin'?"

"Laddie, they noticed you missin' right away. It didnae take them long tae figure it out. Well, come on, I don't have all day," said the chief engineer.

Jimmy was disappointed, it wasn't even worth going to all that trouble, they caught him so fast. 'It took them forever ta find me on the Exeter.' He sneezed again and hurried over to the Scotsman.

"Child," declared Scotty, "where're your clothes?" he asked as he grabbed the boy and pulled him out of the ventilation shaft. "You're only wearing your birthday suit and your socks. You're a right mess," he said, noticing dirt and dust on the boy, and snot running down the child's face.

"I sat on my shirt when I rode down the big, long shaft. Guess I forgot ta put it back on. It was too big anyway. I couldn't climb with it on."

'Big, long shaft?' Scotty thought. "Ach, ya mean the dorsal shaft," he said aloud. "I ken your meaning."

Jimmy smiled at him. He liked this man.

"Aye laddie, it's a long shaft, going from the impulse deck down tae engineering. Well, that must have been one exciting ride," Mr. Scott commented, as he carried the boy across the room. "Tell me, did they not get ya any clothes that fit?"

"No," he said in a pitiful voice. "Mr. Spot was mean ta me. He told me he doesn't want me here and the doctor just poked me and then he was goin' ta give me a shot, 'cause I ate strawberry ice cream. So, I left. It wasn't my fault; he said I could have ice cream. The nice lady brought me strawberry. I didn't know I was 'lergic. Now, my mouth hurts and my nose is runnin' and these bumps itch," he said, dejected.

"Ach, poor wee laddie. Come on, I'll fix ya up." He grabbed a tissue and held it to the boy's nose. "Here, blow." He then carried Jimmy into his office, to a chair and plopped him down in it. "Stay there," he said, "I'll be right back. Ya ken?"

"Yes, Scotty," Jimmy replied, his big blue eyes taking in his surroundings. He watched all the crewmen working.  They were all busily doing their jobs and trying to pretend there wasn't a naked child sitting in their chief engineer's seat, and wondering how said child had gotten aboard. 

Mr. Scott came back a few minutes later, with his arms full. He put his load down on the desk, next to the little boy.

"Ok, first we wipe some o' that dirt off a ya, then let's put some ointment on those bumps, and finally we have clothes that fit, and food." Mr. Scott was very efficient, having taken care of his nieces and nephews in the past. He knew what he was doing. Soon Jimmy was dressed in a little engineer's outfit, his bumps didn't hurt and itch anymore and he was busy eating a sandwich, when Dr. McCoy showed up.

McCoy slowed down outside the chief engineer's office and listened to Mr. Scott and the child talking, they were sitting at Scotty's desk, sharing a sandwich. Scotty appeared to be giving Jimmy a lecture.

"I know Mr. Spot, I mean, Spock, could have been a little nicer, but that's just his way, laddie. He's a Vulcan and they dinnae show emotions, that doesnae mean that they're missin'.  So, you'd best be not callin' him any more names. Ya ken?"

"Yes, sir."

"Jimmy, has anyone explained tae you why you're on this ship?"

"Not really. I think Mr. Spot tried, but he didn't say much," he replied, scrunching up his little nose.

'Oh no,' thought McCoy, 'not now Scotty, I wanted to break it to him later, after he got more acclimated.'

"You know there was a problem with the transporter, right?"

The boy nodded his head.

"Well, when you transported here, your clothes were too big, because you shrunk," he told the child bluntly.

"I did? I was wonderin' about the clothes. How big was I?"

"You were my size laddie."

"You mean I was a grown-up?"

'Uh oh,' McCoy held his breath, how would the child take this information? Would he break down in hysterics, scream, go into shock?

Mr. Scott carried on, oblivious to the doctor's turmoil. "Aye. But no need tae worry, because I'm workin' on fixing the transporter and soon we will be able tae put you back the way you were."

"I was wearin' a gold shirt. What's my job on this ship?" he asked. His pint-sized, genius mind working and remembering Mr. Spot saying he was taking the " _Captain_ " to sickbay.

"You were the Captain, laddie."

"Woo hoo! I knew it. Cool. So, can I order everyone around?"

'So much for shock and hysterics,' McCoy noted, finally deciding to intervene.

"That would be a no," he interjected, walking into view, and garnering their attention. "Nice to know some things in this universe are a constant, even at five, you're still a menace. How are you feeling kid?"

"I'm five and a half," he said stubbornly, "and I'm fine," he finished, sucking in a big sniffle with his runny nose.  Jimmy eyed the doctor suspiciously, "You're not goin' ta give me a shot, are yeh?"

"No kid, I won't give you anything without talking to you first. Jimmy, I'm sorry for scaring you like that, but why did you run away? Why didn't you just talk to me and tell me you didn't want the hypo?"

McCoy watched the boy eyeing him. He could see the distrust in the way the child held himself. He pulled his knees up to his chest and canted his head to the side to watch McCoy, frowning and sizing him up.

"You know, when you were an adult, I was your best friend. You even gave me a nickname, Bones. You can trust me, Jimmy."

" _You_ were my best friend?" he asked incredulously.

"Yup, you can ask Scotty here, he'll tell you."

Jimmy looked to Mr. Scott for confirmation.

Scotty nodded his head, "Aye, laddie. He's got the right of it; you were like two peas in a pod."

"So," said McCoy, "you want to tell me why you led me on that wild goose chase?"

The child was looking down in his lap and he shrugged, "Most adults don' listen ta what I want."

McCoy glanced up at Scotty for a moment and the engineer raised his brows and gave the doctor a knowing look. Something was not right here.

"Well," said McCoy, "you can say whatever you want to me and Scotty, and we'll listen."

The child lifted his head and looked at them skeptically, "That's what mom always says, but she don't really mean it."

"Ach, laddie. I'm sure your mother loves you and hears what ya tell her," Scotty said trying to comfort the child.

Jimmy looked up at Scotty with tears filling his big, blue eyes. "If mommy loves me, why does she always leave me with nana and papa? She always goes away inta space and never comms me. I sneak inta papa's office and send her messages from his computer, but she never answers me back. She calls Sam, but not me." By now, the tears were spilling down his cheeks. "Sam says she doesn't like ta look at me, 'cause I look like daddy and it hurts her. I don't mean ta hurt her. I try ta be good and smart, but she don't care, she still hates me. She loves Sam," he said, shaking his little head, "but not me."

"Oh, Jimmy." McCoy took a step closer to gather the child into his arms, but Jimmy jumped out of the chair and skittered back away from him.

"Cap'n Chris says, "You can always trust the chief engineer, 'cause he has ta love the ship ta do his job, and anyone who loves the ship that much is good."  So, I'll trust Scotty, not you." He finished by backing against the engineer's legs.

Scotty glanced over at McCoy for a moment, registering the hurt on his face. He then reached down and picked up his small captain and stood up. Out of everyone on the Enterprise, it looked like the child had picked him to trust. Looking the child in the eye, he asked, "Jimmy is this why ya climbed through the ventilation system tae get down here? Tae find me?"

The child nodded. "Well, laddie, ya can trust me, your Cap'n Chris is right, and I thank you for that, but ya can trust Dr. McCoy also. I wouldnae lie tae ya." He then reached for a tissue and wiped the tears and snot off the boy's face.

"Do yeh mean it? "

Aye, o'course I mean that. D'ya think I'd lie tae my captain?"

"I guess not," the child conceded, "ok, I'll trust you too Doctor Bones, but can I stay here with yeh anyway Scotty?"

Scotty looked up at the doctor.

"Yeah, I guess so," McCoy answered the questioning look, "as long as you keep an eye on him. And you, little mister, don't get in Mr. Scott's way! He still has to help find a way to return you back to normal, and it's just Bones, not Doctor Bones."

"Yes, sir." Jimmy followed this up with a big yawn.  He wrapped his little arms around Scotty's neck and laid his head down on his shoulder.

Scotty held the child, while he and Dr. McCoy discussed the allergic reaction Jimmy had to the strawberries. He could feel soft puffs of breath against his neck and he gently swayed from side to side as he described the medication he treated the boy with. Engineering was always well stocked with quick remedies for the occasional accident. He noticed after a few minutes, that the boy's head was feeling heavier on his shoulder and his body had gone limp. "Is he asleep doctor?" he whispered.

McCoy leaned slightly to the side, to get a better view and grinned. "Yup, he's out for the count."

"Poor wee bairn."


	8. Chapter 8

* * *

 

Doctor McCoy decided to contact Admiral Pike while their young captain was down for the count. Mr. Scott had tucked him onto a cot near his workstation and was keeping an eye on him, while he worked on the transporter problem. Of course, there was no lack of helpers. Every person in engineering wanted to help watch over their "Wee Captain Jimmy," as Scotty had taken to calling him. Jim was lucky. He had a very protective crew, willing to overlook his erratic behavior of late. Realistically, who could resist an adorable, five-year-old Jim Kirk?

As he sat in his office, waiting for Lt. Uhura to patch through his subspace call, he contemplated the enigma that was James Kirk. 'What kind of childhood had molded him into the captain he was today? Well, in this case, yesterday.' He snorted aloud with that thought.

Just then, Uhura's voice came over the intercom, "I have Admiral Pike for you doctor."

"Thank you Lieutenant, patch him through."

The smiling face of Admiral Christopher Pike lit up his communications screen. "Doctor McCoy, how may I help you? I hope you haven't lost Jim."  Admiral Pike was aware of the situation; Spock had immediately contacted the admiralty, according to protocol.

"Not yet, but he's givin' me a run for my money."

"Let me guess. He disappeared in the ventilation system, didn't he?"

McCoy's eyebrows shot up, "How'd you know?"

"I'm afraid the blame for that little trick lays with me, Doctor. When Jim was almost five, I took him to visit his mother for Christmas. Winona was stationed on the USS Exeter at the time. I took Jim on a tour of the ship and showed him the ventilation system. I explained how it was designed as an emergency escape route, but only officers knew about it. He got bored one day and decided to try it out. Took me a good eight hours before I figured out what he had done and tracked him down. When I finally found him, he was down in engineering. He had fallen asleep wedged between the engine compartments. He had a grand old time running around the vents," he said with a nostalgic look.

"That's funny; ya know he still does that once in a while." At the look on the admiral's face, he clarified, "I mean, sleeps, down in engineering. He says the vibrations of the engines lull him to sleep. Well, I don't feel so bad now, it only took us an hour and a half to find him," McCoy said laughingly to the admiral.

McCoy's face sobered up and he addressed the reason he had contacted the admiral.

"Admiral Pike, I kind of messed up with Jimmy today and I wanted to ask a few questions about his childhood, so we don't have a repeat performance. I figured you had to be the Captain Chris that Jim mentioned. This is strictly between you and Jim's doctor. I need to do a psych evaluation and some background info would be appreciated."

The admiral sat up a little straighter, "How much of Jim's past do you know about?" he asked.

"Well, I know Jim doesn't exactly get along with his mom and as long as I've known him, he hasn't talked to his brother. Therefore, I gather their relationship isn't the greatest either. What was bothering me was a comment that Jimmy made earlier today. He mentioned the trip you took him on that one Christmas, to surprise his mom, but said that she didn't want him there and did not love him. He overheard the argument between you and Winona. To him, this just happened a few months ago, so he was pretty upset. He also said that adults don't listen to him, alluding to a lack of trust in adults."

Chris sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. "I always wondered if he overheard that conversation. Now I know why he took off into the ductwork that day. I kind of thought there was more to it, but you know Jim, he does not discuss anything, just reacts. I knew George and Winona at the academy, was friends with George more, at the time. Jim's mother never got over losing George. At first, she tried to be a good mom to the boys, but it was clear from the start that Jim looked just like George. Winona couldn't handle it. Every time she looked at Jimmy, it reminded her of George and she became more and more remote. So... she left the boys with her mom and dad and took a commission on the Exeter. She figured that her parents would give the boys the love that she wasn't capable of. Problem was that her parents were old, and the boys had a lot of energy. They had raised a girl and weren't prepared for two rambunctious boys. It didn't help that her father was starfleet. Jim comes from a long line of enlisted, on both sides of his family. The old man was very severe with the boys, raised them like little soldiers. It was hard on Jimmy. He was extremely curious and very high energy; trying to curb his natural tendencies was frustrating for the child. He was always trying so hard to be someone he wasn't, just to be accepted and loved."

"That explains why Jimmy is so polite. I don't think I've ever heard so many "Yes, sirs" come out of a child," McCoy commented.

The admiral was nodding in agreement, "He tried so hard to please his mom. He was always quiet around her, I think he tried to be invisible, so she would stay. He studied hard, kept his room clean, never made any noise. Sometimes, I think I was the only person who understood that child. I used to take him out whenever I had shore-leave on earth, just to give him a chance to run around, giggle, be a normal child, I owed George that much. I remember one time, when Jimmy started crying, asked why he couldn't live with me. It broke my heart. I would have taken that child in a moment, if I could have. Jimmy was the sweetest child I'd ever met, but that all ended when his mom married Frank."

"Yeah, I know all about Frank," McCoy said disgustedly," Jim got rip-roaring drunk one time and told me what life with his stepfather was like. McCoy didn't want to open that can of worms with the admiral, so he changed the subject. What I really need here is an idea of what his life was like at the age he is now, five and a half. What about his relationship with his brother, Sam? He never talks about him now. How was their relationship back then?"

"Jimmy adored Sam, but Sam couldn't give Jimmy what he needed, Sam was only a child himself. Sam came out with Jimmy and me only once, after that he let Jimmy come with me alone. I think he realized how much Jimmy needed the time alone with me. It was Sam's way of trying to help. . Poor Sam was busy trying to keep his own head above water. It's hard to expect one child to be responsible for another. Sam tried at first, but after Frank, he gave up and ran away - self-preservation at its best. Jim never forgave him for leaving him behind, but at five, he still adored Sam."

"Did his mother ever hit Jim? Did you ever see any unusual bruises on him back then?"

Admiral Pike's eyes took on a hard look. "No. I always worried about Winona losing it and hitting Jim, but as far as I know she never did. I think it was more neglect than abuse, but you know as well I do doctor that neglect can also be very damaging." Pike paused for a moment and took a deep breath.

"Well, I think I've covered most of it. He was living with his maternal grandparents and going to school. Jimmy started school when he was three years old. He was so precocious. I think they agreed to let him go to school just to keep him out of trouble. A kid like Jim has a lot of energy, you need to keep him occupied and I don't just mean his body, you have to give him something to exercise his brain. Keep him challenged and he will stay out of trouble. That is my advice to you. Anything else?"

"How about allergies? Do you remember any that he had back then?"

The admiral tilted his head to the side and looked up, "Let me see...I remember he was allergic to a lot of meds and food, definitely Penicillin, Sulfa and Metorapan; peanuts, eggs, and shellfish. I think by that age, he had outgrown the dairy allergy. Pet dander was a big one. He was upset because he couldn't have a dog. I can't remember anymore, sorry."

"I appreciate the information admiral. This will make my life a lot easier."

"Ha! Nothing is easy about James Kirk, at any age. Just remember what I said and keep him busy. Let him go down to engineering and help Mr. Scott. Believe me; he will love it. Don't let him turn those big, blue eyes on you to get what he wants. He's a great manipulator, even back then. Remember that kid is a genius, literally, and capable of getting into major trouble."

"Yes, sir, I'll do my best. He's already down in engineering with Mr. Scott. That is where he headed to on his little trip through the ventilation shafts. Said he trusted the chief engineer, because Captain Pike told him to," McCoy said to the admiral with a smile.

The admiral shook his head and smiled, "I'd forgotten all about that. Well, take care of my boy doctor and keep me informed of any progress."

"Oh Admiral, one last thing, sir. If you don't mind?"

"Go ahead, Doctor."

"It's unrelated to this current dilemma, sir. Before this de-aging thing happened, Jim had been on edge for weeks. In fact, we were supposed to discuss it when he got back from Sestis IV. Are you aware of anything goin' on in Jim's life right now that would have been stressing him?"

Admiral Pike's countenance became more serious and guarded. He stared at the doctor a few moments before answering, "A memorial service is coming up for the Kelvin and Starfleet is asking Jim to be present."

"Why would this be stressing him so much?"

"You would have to talk to Jim about that Doctor. Is that all?"

"Yes, sir."

"Pike out."

The screen went black and McCoy went back to his evaluation, utilizing the new information on his captain. He remained perplexed, however, when it came to Jim's previous behavior.


	9. Chapter 9

* * *

 

McCoy had taken Admiral Pike's advice seriously and enlisted Scotty's help in giving the boy a project to keep him busy. A busy Jim Kirk was a Jim Kirk not getting into trouble, as least he hoped so.

The next morning, when he had gone to engineering to check up on the boy, Spock was down there chewing out their chief engineer with his own brand of sarcasm.

"Mister Scott, I realize you find our young captain an infinitely, fascinating playmate on par with your own intelligence, but perhaps your time would be better spent if you turned your attention to the problem which brought your new playmate to you in the first place? We do have an away team still stranded on Sestis IV. I do not wish to strain our relations with this planet.

"I'm not sure if I should take offence t' that," Scotty replied. "I assure you Mr. Spock that my duties have not been neglected. We are in the process o' settin' up a trial-run with the transporter for eleven hundred hours, as we previously planned."

"Very good, Mister Scott. I simply wished to ascertain that you are staying on schedule and not being side-tracked with your  _other_  project," with that, Spock turned to look at Jimmy with one eyebrow raised, obviously doubtful.

Jimmy was sitting at a work station, with all the pieces of his project spread out in front of him, head bend down, seemingly engrossed in his work. It was obvious the child was listening to every word.

"Aye, sir," Mr. Scott replied, still looking offended.

Spock simply nodded and took his leave.

McCoy saw Jimmy's head turn slightly and his eyes track Mr. Spock's departure. The look in that child's eyes did not bode well for Spock.

'What was up with Spock, anyway?' McCoy wondered. He was treating Jimmy with a very cold disdain. Right from the start, Spock took an instant dislike to the child. McCoy knew he was going to have to discuss it with Spock and find out why, because his behavior wasn't helping Jimmy's trust issues. Hopefully the transporter problem would be figured out soon and they would get their captain back, but there was no need to traumatize the child while he was with them. Hopefully, Jim wouldn't remember any of this afterwards.

Remembering why he came down to engineering in the first place, McCoy walked over to the boy. "Hey, Jimmy. How's it going? What are you working on there?"

McCoy was pleased to see the boy's face instantly brighten. "Hi Bones! It's goin' great. I'm buildin' a drone. I'll be able to control it with this PADD that Scotty gave me," he explained, waving the PADD through the air, with a big smile.

"Drone?" McCoy glanced at Scotty.

"Aye, a drone. You could liken it teh a remote control helicopter," said Scotty.

"Ah," McCoy replied, with a look of recognition on his face. "Well, that sounds like a big project. Did ya eat your breakfast first?"

"Yes, sir. We had san'wiches. I never had san'wiches for breakfast before, it was fun."

"Sandwiches, Scotty? Didn't you feed him a sandwich for dinner last night?"

"Aye, nothin' wrong with that. Meat, bread, cheese and a glass of juice, it's healthy enough."

"Hmm. I'll pick him up for lunch this afternoon. If I leave it up to you, he'll be eating sandwiches again."

Jimmy and Scotty just smiled at each other.

 

* * *

 

At eleven hundred hours, Scotty beamed a tribble down to Sestis IV. Five minutes later, they rematerialized a very small tribble.

McCoy stared down at the baby tribble, "Well, that didn't solve the problem."

"Thank you for stating the obvious, doctor. Mr. Scott, meet me in the briefing room at eleven thirty hours. I would also like Mr. Chekov to attend. Gentlemen." With that, Spock left the transporter room.

"Well, he's got a bug up his butt about som'thin'. Bad enough we're dealin' with this transporter problem without havin' t' deal with him," Scotty complained.

Dr. McCoy was kneeling beside the transporter pad running a tricorder over the tribble. At Scotty's statement, he looked up. "Care to explain, Mr. Scott?"

"Ach, it's just that every time Mr. Spock is near our little Captain Jimmy he's mean t' the child."

"Maybe Spock's just worried about the situation."

"No, Doctor. I know mean when I see it. Like I said, he's got a bug up his butt about som'thin' and it's nothin' good. I dinnae know what the child could have done t' get his knickers in such a knot. He's such an endearing child, how could anyone not dote on him?"

"Hmm, yeah I've noticed the same thing. I thought maybe I was imaging it." McCoy said, as he picked up the tribble and stood up. "I'll have a talk with him Scotty, see if I can't fix this."

"I'd appreciate it Doctor. 'Cause the next time I need a test subject, it might be him I'm sendin' down there."

 

* * *

 

Dr. McCoy and Jimmy walked into the mess hall together. Jimmy's blue eyes were glowing and taking in everything. "Can I get whatever I want for lunch?" he asked with enthusiasm.

"Yes, as long as it's healthy," McCoy answered.

Jimmy's nose scrunched up. "Does that mean I have ta eat green veg'tables?"

"Yes."

"Yuck. Ya know green things make me gag. I might throw them up on ya."

"I'll take my chances."

McCoy was used to all the tricks that kids used from his daughter Joanna. Joanna was eleven now and pretty much ate whatever was put in front of her, but when she was younger, she used every trick in the book to avoid eating vegetables. The old 'vegetables make me gag' wasn't going to work on him.

McCoy steered the boy over to get a tray and silverware, then they headed over to a replicator.

"Ok, Jimmy, how does mac-n-cheese sound?"

"Yum! I can eat cheese now ya know. The doctor Nana took me to said so. I love mac-n-cheese."

"Most kids do," McCoy replied as he got Jimmy some mac-n-cheese with a side of broccoli and put it on his tray. The boy scrunched up his nose at the broccoli. McCoy ignored him.

He got himself a bowl of onion soup and added two glasses of milk to the tray.

"I don't like milk, it makes me gag."

"Yeah, yeah. You have to drink it anyway. You're a growing boy and it's good for ya. Look, I'm drinking milk too."

The boy still didn't look convinced.

They found a table in one corner and sat down with their lunch. Jimmy looked expectantly at the doctor, waiting for permission to start. When he realized that Bones was already eating, he took that as permission and dug into his mac-n-cheese with relish.

"Try your broccoli," McCoy said, pointing his fork at it.

Jimmy stabbed a piece and nibbled a little bit. He tilted his head to one side and pronounced, "Not bad," and then proceeded to eat the rest of it.

McCoy smiled to himself. He knew that broccoli was one of the few vegetables that adult Jim liked to eat.

They finished up their lunch with companionable chatter. Jimmy told him all about his project and McCoy listened with half an ear, still thinking about Spock. When they were almost done with lunch, McCoy told Jimmy to drink his milk.

"I don't like milk. It makes me gag."

"You said that about the broccoli and you liked that. Try it."

Jimmy looked at the glass of milk with suspicion, then he looked up at Bones. Bones made a drinking motion with his hand. The child picked up the glass of milk and took a sip. He made an "Mmm" sound and drained the glass.

Just as McCoy smiled and started to say something, the child started to gag. He hastily tried to remember what Admiral Pike had said about milk, but it was too late, the milk came flying across the table as a projectile and hit the doctor. The boy sat white-faced across the table, his bottom lip trembling and dripping milk..

"Well," McCoy said, "I guess milk does make you gag." At that comment, the child dissolved into tears. "It's alright Jimmy. We'll get you some more lunch to eat when your stomach settles down. I'm sorry."

"Why... are... you... sorry?" he gasped between sobs. "I... puked... on... you," and he began to cry again in earnest.

McCoy got up and went around the table to rub the boy's back. "I'm sorry I forced you to drink that milk when you knew it would make you sick."

"Oh, ok.... I'm sorry... I puked on you," he replied, finally calming down with the hand rubbing his back.

"Ha, it's not the first time. Come on, let's go get cleaned up. Then, maybe I'll let Scotty get you a sandwich."

They walked off together, both smiling.


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

 

Spock walked into Doctor McCoy's office. "You wanted to see me Doctor?"

"Yeah, Spock, take a seat"

"I prefer to remain standing."

"Alright," McCoy stood up to meet Spock's gaze. "A delicate situation has arisen on the ship Mr. Spock and I would like your input."

"Very well, Doctor."

"I have observed an ongoing conflict between two crewmembers. As far as I can tell, and according to other people who have noticed this conflict, it is being caused by one person. Other crewmembers have mentioned it to me, because they are becoming indignant on behalf of the injured party. I haven't said anything to either person because I wasn't sure if it was my place to interfere, but now it seems to be affecting the crew working with them."

"The solution is simple Doctor. You must talk to the instigator and help resolve the conflict before it escalates to the point of being irreconcilable, especially if it is affecting the smooth operation of this ship."

"Yeah, that's kind of what I thought."

"What is the problem Doctor? You are the most logical choice to speak to this person. Is there a conflict of interest? Would you like me to talk to the crewman instead?"

"No, Spock. You see, you are the person."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You are the person people are complaining tah me about Commander," McCoy emphasized, his accent growing with his agitation.

"I understood that Doctor, I simply could not believe it. Who is this person I seemingly have a conflict with?"

"The captain, Spock, and don't think I didn't notice there was a problem before Jim came back from Sestis IV. I just can't see how it relates to little Jimmy."

"Do you notice Doctor that you refer to the captain as if he were two separate people? Young Jimmy is our captain. He is just at a different stage in his life. The decisions he makes now will affect his behavior when he is an adult."

"What are you talkin' about Spock, what decisions?"

"Have you noticed Doctor, not once, has he asked to see his mother? He was upset momentarily when he thought she was ill, otherwise, it is as if she does not exist. Is this normal behavior for a five-year-old child? I believe he is setting up a pattern of behavior that will one day grievously affect his relationship with his mother."

"Hold on a minute here! Are you tellin' me that you are criticizin' a five-year-old's behavior for, what you perceive as, being indifferent? I am surprised at you Mr. Spock. You of all people know that you don't make a final analysis without all of the data. I suggest that you contact Winona Kirk and talk to her about her son, then come back and talk to me. Now, get the hell outta my office, Sir!"

Spock simply raised one eyebrow, turned and left the office with a contemplative look upon his face.

 

* * *

 

Jimmy spent the rest of the afternoon quietly working on his project. His stomach had settled down and he was feeling fine. He was sitting in his chair, swinging his legs and humming. His drone was finally finished and he was about to put his plan into place. Deciding to do a test run, he took his small drone and set it in an open area of the engineering bay. Using his PADD to control the drone, he had it lift off and fly around the bay. The little drone hummed quietly as it passed its test with  _flying_  colors. Most of the crewmembers on duty cheered and clapped for their little captain, not realizing what he was intending to do with the drone.

Jimmy collected the drone, along with his PADD and quietly snuck out of the engineering bay.

He smiled to himself and giggled, 'Mr. Spot look out. Here I come.'

 

* * *

 

Jimmy spent the rest of the afternoon quietly moving from place to place, with his drone covertly hovering along the corridors, and into different common rooms. The crewmen just smiled at the quietly playing child. No one realized that Jimmy had hooked up an audio/visual feed to his drone and was spying on everyone.

Finally, his quarry came into view. Mr. Spot and a pretty lieutenant came out of the mess hall together. Jimmy followed at a discreet distance, listening to their conversation and watching them on his PADD.

xx

"Spock, I can see that this is really bothering you. Why don't you just contact her? I could patch her through to the briefing room down the hall from your quarters, it would be empty right now," Nyota Uhura said, standing on her tiptoes and giving Spock a kiss.

"Thank you, Nyota, perhaps I should. Doctor McCoy was correct; I need to gather all data before making a final analysis."

"I understand. You have regrets about your mother and you don't want Jim to do the same thing. You're just trying to help. Besides, she has a right to know what has happened to her son."

"I am glad you understand, Nyota."

"Always. I'll connect you with Jim's mom as soon as I get back up to the bridge." She smiled and gave him a small wave as she entered the turbolift and the doors swished closed.

Spock walked off down the corridor, heading toward the briefing room.

xx

Jimmy was watching his PADD intently. 'Yuck! They kissed.' It was gross, but he figured he could use that. Spock probably wouldn't want himself plastered all over the net kissing a girl. The next words caught the boy's attention. 'Help Jim? Were they talking about him?' He turned the sound up a little and leaned toward the PADD. 'Jim's mom? They were going to call his mom?' His heart started beating faster. Jimmy knew he had to hear this conversation. He had not heard from his mom in months. He would have been happy just to see her face. He quickly sent his drone down the corridor, following at a distance. It slid into the room just behind Spock, high up by the ceiling. He stealthily sent it over to a high shelf and landed it. From this position, he could see most of the room. He then sank down to the floor of the corridor, his eyes locked onto the PADD in his hands.

xx

* * *

 

The door to the briefing room swished open and Spock strode into the room. Just as the door was closing, Spock thought he heard a humming noise. He stopped and turned toward the door, perusing it. Nothing was there. He briefly scanned the room and not seeing anything out of order, continued to the table and seated himself in front of the terminal. He spent the next few minutes deciding how to explain the situation to the captain's mother. Finally, Lieutenant Uhura's voice interrupted his thoughts, "Commander Spock, I have Lieutenant Kirk for you sir."

"Patch her through, Lieutenant Uhura."

"Yes, sir."

Whatever Spock had been expecting, this woman was not it. She looked to be in her late fifties. Her blond hair was shot through with silver streaks and was pulled back from her face severely. She seemed aged beyond her years. What stood out in her face, however, were her eyes. They were a steel gray and cold.

If Spock were being honest with himself, he had been expecting someone like his own mother, with her warm eyes, easy smile, soft-spoken voice and loving disposition. This woman was an unmitigated opposite.

"Lieutenant Kirk, I thank you for being able to speak to me on such short notice."

"Lieutenant Commander Spock, I took this call because I thought it was my son. Your communications officer did not specify to whom I would be speaking. Does my son have others returning his calls for him now?"

Spock was taken aback by the vitriol in her voice and found himself taking an instant dislike to the woman.

"No, madam. The captain does not permit others to handle his personal communications. I have contacted you, as a courtesy, to inform you of a mishap that has taken place aboard the Enterprise."

"Mishap? What kind of mishap?"

"Due to a transporter malfunction, your son has experienced an aging regression. He is now approximately five years old," Spock told her bluntly.

Winona Kirk just stared at Spock expectantly for a few moments, as if she was waiting for the punch line.

"Are you joking?"

"I assure you, this is no joke."

"Did he put you up to this? Is this his way of getting out of coming to the memorial?" By now, she was turning red in the face. "Well, you can tell him for me that it won't work!"

"Madam, Vulcans do not lie."

She looked contemplative. "Yes, I guess you're right, they don't lie. So, what do you want me to do about it?" Her eyes grew large in alarm, "You don't expect me to take him do you? I didn't want him when he was five years old, twenty-two years ago, I sure as hell don't want him now. He's Starfleet's problem."

"Lieutenant Kirk, I can see that I made an error in contacting you. Forgive me for assuming that you cared for your son." At the look of outrage on her face, Spock disconnected.

A sudden noise had Spock jumping from his seat and turning at the same time. A small, white object had fallen off a shelf. On closer inspection, the object revealed itself to be a small drone. Spock noted the audio/visual component attached to the underside of the drone, as he picked it up, and concluded that he was being spied upon. Knowing that whoever was controlling the drone must be nearby, he immediately ran into the corridor looking for the perpetrator. His eyes came to rest on an object at the end of the corridor. As he neared the object, it became obvious that it was a PADD. With a sinking feeling he picked it up and turned it over, the screen was cracked down the middle, as if someone had thrown it at something. He noticed a corresponding mark on the wall. Spock knew to whom the PADD belonged; it was covered on the back with stickers that proclaimed 'Captain Jimmy'.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried not to get too emotional with the interaction between Spock and Jimmy in this chapter. Spock just isn't a touchy- feely kind of guy. Don't worry; Jimmy's emotional eruption is still coming.

* * *

 

Spock simply stood for a few moments, his gaze fixed upon the drone in his hand. What had he done? In his single-minded obsession of correcting what he saw as Jim's aberrant behavior, he had most probably shattered a child's psyche. This was out of Spock's depth. He went to the only person he could think of to help handle the situation.

 

* * *

 

"You did what?!"

Spock was sure that the whole med-bay could hear the doctor's voice through the walls of the CMO's office.

"You did suggest that I speak to Winona Kirk, Doctor."

"Yeah, yeah. I did, didn't I?"

"Yes, you did."

"That was rhetorical, Spock. What a mess. Well, we'll just have to find him."

McCoy sat down in his chair and leaned forward to hit a button on his computer. "Computer, locate James T. Kirk."

"James T. Kirk located, Hanger bay D."

"Dammit Spock, he's tryin' to escape."

"Might I suggest that we hasten to the hanger bay?"

"Hasten, my ass."

"That is what I just suggested, Doctor."

"Oh for cryin' out loud! Do ya have to take everything so literally?!"

 

* * *

 

"Ok Spock, remember everything we discussed on the way here," McCoy advised, slapping Spock on the shoulder.

Spock raised a brow at McCoy and fixed him with his gaze, "That sounds suspiciously like you are planning on not accompanying me doctor."

"Hell, no. You got yourself into this pickle; it's up to you to fix it. Besides, Jimmy wouldn't believe you if I was there. He'd think I put you up to it."

"Pickle? Put me up to it? To what are you referring doctor?"

McCoy's eyes rolled back so far, he almost fell over. "It's an idiom Spock. Just get in there and fix this mess and I'll take care of things on my end." With that, he opened the door to the hanger bay and shoved Spock in.

 

* * *

 

The door slid shut behind Spock and he surveyed the hanger. There were numerous possibilities where a Child could be hiding. Spock decided to take the most expedient route.

"James?" he called out. "I know you are in here. I would like to speak to you, if you would allow it."

A shuffling noise came from the far side of the third shuttle in the bay. Spock waited patiently, but no child came forth.

"James," Spock hesitated, then re-thinking his approach continued. "Jimmy, I am sorry I was the cause of so much distress. It was not my intention to worsen the situation with your mother. Please let me explain and give me the chance to apologize." Spock found himself holding his breath, awaiting the child's decision.

Finally, the small boy slowly came out from behind the shuttle. He only moved close enough to get a clear view of Spock and then stopped. His arms were wrapped around his middle and the usual sparkly blue eyes were dull and rimmed with red.

"Why'd you want to 'pologize? It's not your fault my mom hates me, is it?" he asked.

"Although I feel that hate is too strong a word, no Jimmy, it is not my fault." Remembering what he and Doctor McCoy had discussed, he added, "And it is not your fault either. I am sorry your mother said those things Jimmy. No child should ever have to hear their mother say things like that." Spock took a step closer to the boy.

"Sam says it's my fault, for lookin' like daddy," he said quietly, as though confessing a terrible secret. "Mommy can't love me, cause I remind her of him."

Spock closed his eyes for a moment, now he understood why Jim never visited his mother and kept his distance. It was not because he wanted to hurt his mother; it was because he wanted to spare her the pain. How could he have been so wrong about his captain? It seemed that James T. Kirk was always surprising Spock with new depths to his character.

Spock opened his eyes and took in the sight of the small boy. "Jimmy, your mother should not be pained when she looks at you, she should rejoice at the reminder that your father lives on in you. You were created by your father and mother. Created with love, and she should remember that love when she looks upon your face. She should remember the precious gift that your father left her with and protect it with all her heart because you deserve that. Every child deserves to be loved and protected by their mother."

Spock was slowly moving towards the child as he spoke. The boy was so focused on his words that he did not notice. By the time Spock was done speaking, he was standing in front of Jimmy and he went down on one knee to be on level with the child as he spoke his next words, "Jimmy, forgive me, for I have wronged you." He placed a finger on the boy's mouth when he moved to speak. "No, hear me out first. I misjudged you when we first met, I believed you to be selfish and disregarding of other people's feelings. I felt you did not deserve my regard if you were not willing to give it to others. I know now, that this is not true. You are a very special child James T. Kirk. You are a cheerful child, despite a lack of cheer in your upbringing. You are resilient and resourceful. I was most impressed when you utilized the ventilation shafts to traverse the ship." Spock brought his other hand forward, holding the small drone in it. "I was also most impressed by your mechanical talent and tenacity in building this drone. I do not approve of your use of the surveillance equipment attached to it, but I think you have already been punished by the upsetting conversation you overheard. I will return it to you, if you promise not to spy on anymore people with it," Spock finished by holding it out toward the child.

Jimmy's face was beet red as he nodded and took the drone from Mr. Spock. He wasn't used to hearing praise from an adult and he was feeling somewhat contrite for his for his vengeful plan involving Spock and Uhura. Coming to a decision, Jimmy straightened himself and looked Spock in the eye, "Mr. Spot, I'm sorry I spied on you. I wish I hadn't heard my mom say those awful things too," he trailed off with.

"Jimmy, do you understand that your mother was wrong for saying those things and that it is not your fault?"

Jimmy was looking down at his drone, fiddling with it, "I guess."

He was only half-listening to Spock, not wanting to talk about his mother with this man. He looked up then at Spock. "Here," he said, handing Spock a small electronic chip, "it's the vid I took of you an that pretty lady kissin', I won't put it up on the net. I changed my mind. It wouldn't be right after you 'pologized an all."

Spock was speechless as he held out his hand and took the vid chip. He looked down into his hand, one eyebrow cocked, studying the object.

"Thank you. That was a most logical decision." All he could think was, 'We really need to be more vigilant with this child and keep him out of the hands of Section 31.'

"I believe we should go find Dr. McCoy now," Spock stated, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder and gently steering him from the hanger bay. "He has a surprise planned for you."

Jimmy perked up a bit at that. "Ok, I like s'prises, as long as it's a good s'prise. I left you and Scotty a s'prise too, on that shuttle. Only, It's not the good kind. The security on those shuttles is really hard to get past," he finished up, scrunching his nose in contemplation as they walked.

Spock could understand now why the doctor employed the act of rolling his eyes so often, as he was sorely tempted to indulge in the act himself right now.

"Where would you have gone if you had been successful in your endeavor?"

"I don't know. Maybe I would've tried to find Chris."

"Hmm," Spock acknowledged his comment with a nod of his head and a knowing look in his eye as he shepherded the child towards sickbay.


	12. Chapter 12

* * *

 

Spock and Jimmy were walking down the corridor towards sickbay when his communicator beeped. Deftly flipping it open, he spoke crisply, "Spock here."

Lieutenant Uhura's voice came on, "Commander, you are needed in the transporter room. We have an unexpected guest beaming aboard, sir."

Spock's brow lifted as he said, "Does this unexpected guest have a name, Lieutenant?"

"It's admiralty, sir. I have been ordered to be vague," Uhura said with barely concealed mirth.

Spock nodded, "Very well, we will be there shortly."

Putting his communicator away, he looked down at his small charge.

"It seems we are being diverted for the time being. Shall we go see who our mystery guest is?" he asked the boy, steering him in a new direction.

 

* * *

 

Seconds after entering the transporter room, Spock was treated to the most ear-piercing scream he had ever heard.

"Chris!" Jimmy shrieked, racing across the room and throwing himself at the man standing there.

Admiral Pike had anticipated the child's reaction and caught him mid-air.

"Jimmy!" he gasped, burying his face in the blond hair and breathing deeply.

McCoy looked on with a silly grin on his face.

When the admiral looked up, his eyes were suspiciously moist.

"Thank you Spock, for bringing him here."

"If I may inquire, Admiral? How did you get here so fast? The good doctor just contacted you approximately forty two point six minutes ago."

"I was already on my way here, Spock."

The next thing they all knew, Jimmy was sobbing hysterically.

"Whoa whoa," Chris crooned at him, "What is this all about?"

"You...you came... for me." He stuttered out between the sobs. "Momma says... she says..she doesn't... want..me. I thought...no one.. wanted...me!"

"James T. Kirk," He said sternly, "what have I always told you?"

The boy calmed a little and looked up into Chris Pike's eyes. Taking a deep breath, he said, "Always and forever. You'd want me always... and forever." With that, he buried his face sobbing again into the admiral's uniform, clinging to him.

"Oh my poor baby, what have you been through," he whispered to the child, rocking him gently in his arms and rubbing the small back.

Spock, looking rather uncomfortable, cleared his throat. "Heh-hmm, if you do not require my presence, I believe I am needed on the bridge."

Chris looked up at Spock and narrowed his eyes, "That will be all  _for now_  commander, but I believe there is a discussion we need to have later."

"Yes, Admiral," Spock stated, standing straight as a rod, resisting the urge to glance over at McCoy. 'Of course, the doctor had filled the admiral in on everything happening with the child. That was to be expected,' he thought.

With an imperial nod of his head, the admiral dismissed Spock.

Jimmy's little head popped up, looked at Spock walking out of the room, and then back to Chris. "Admiral?" he questioned.

Chris Pike smiled and held out his left arm for the boy to inspect. "Yup, even have the stripes."

Jimmy looked down at the arm and then back up at Chris. "You look different," he said, reaching up and touching the gray at Chris' temple.

"You look different too; you're all red and blotchy." With that, Chris pulled out a white handkerchief and wiped off the child's face and then his uniform. Looking at the 'kerchief in dismay, he stuffed it into his pocket.

Jimmy snorted at that.

"Yeah, I'm a lot older now kiddo, but not too old to still whoop your butt," and with that he started tickling the boy. Shrieks of laughter filled the air.

"No more, no more," the boy called out. "I surrender."

Chuckling, Chris stopped torturing him.

Jimmy lifted his hands and still breathing hard from the exertion placed one on each side of the admiral's face. "I didn't say it was bad, just diff'rent. You look like an admiral now," he declared.

"Well, thank you."

Pike looked up at McCoy. "Shall we go get something to eat doctor? I don't know about you, but trans-warp beaming makes me hungry. I had to jump three ships to get here."

 

* * *

 

Jimmy sat in his chair humming contentedly to himself, while Dr. McCoy and the admiral talked. He looked for all the world to be happily playing.

Bones surreptitiously watched the boy as they talked. Jimmy had one hand latched onto Pike's sleeve while he played with his PADD. Every so often, his eyes would slide to the side to keep an eye on Pike. The boy was very insecure and he was making sure that Chris went nowhere.

This was what Bones had been waiting for; this was normal behavior for a traumatized child. He was a little disappointed that Jimmy didn't find that kind of trust and reliance in his best friend. He shook himself at that thought, 'You're being stupid McCoy,' he chastised himself, 'young Jim Kirk doesn't even know you. Why would he trust you?'

"Doctor?"

McCoy looked up to see Chris Pike watching him expectantly. "I'm sorry, sir. I was wool gatherin'."

"He'll be ok doctor. I will personally make sure of that. Hey Jimmy, how about you go get me some of that red Jello you like so much?"

"Yes, sir," the boy chirped, running off to the replicators, eager to please.

The admiral kept his eyes on Jimmy as he stood in line at the replicators.

"I don't want him knowing this yet, in case this de-aging can't be fixed, but I have gotten custody of him from Winona." He didn't stop talking as he was watching Jimmy. The boy looked over at him, and he smiled and waved to him, letting the child know he was watching him. "I received a call from her, right after she spoke to Spock, demanding I take care of him. She has already filled out the forms and forwarded them to me. By the end of this evening, Jimmy will be mine." He looked over at the doctor then. "I just wanted you to know, so you don't worry. I know how close you and Jim were."

"Were? Thank you Admiral, but don't make it sound like our captain is dead. Mr. Scott is dealing with the situation and he's like a bulldog with a bone in his mouth. He won't stop 'til he's got this figured out," he said with a tight smile. "Don't get me wrong sir, I'm glad Jimmy has someone ta count on, lord knows he needs it. In fact, I think the grown Jim could use it too, but we haven't given up on him yet."

Pike smiled at him, as Jimmy came back with a bowl of red Jello, "Glad to hear it, Doctor."

 

* * *

 

Jimmy and Chris walked down to engineering so Jimmy could show him his work area. After Jimmy had a chance to show off his project, he reluctantly confessed to Chris what he was going to do to  _Mr. Spot_.

Pike tried to keep the smile off his face while he lectured the child about privacy rights.

Shame-faced, Jimmy explained that he had confessed everything to Mr. Spot and given the vid chip to him.

"Well," the admiral admitted, "maybe I won't go too hard on him tonight when I ream him out for his behavior towards you."

"Don't go too hard on him," Jimmy said seriously, "he did 'pologize an everythin'."

A corner of Chris' mouth twitched up as he said, "I'll keep that in mind. Now, where is that Mr. Scott of yours? I thought he could keep you busy while I speak to Mr. Spock."

"Ah, that would be me you'll be wantin' t' talk to," Scotty said walking up to the admiral. "Couldn't help overhearin'. I have jus' the thing t' keep the wee lad busy, a shuttle craft that needs re-wiring," he said, turning toward Jimmy.

Putting his hands on his hips, he fixed a stern look upon Jimmy, "What the devil were ya tryin' to do in there laddie? Tha' wiring looks like last week's leftover spaghetti. I dinnae know whether to try untangling it or t' rip the whole mess out."

"Do I want to know?" Chris asked, looking down at Jimmy.

Jimmy scrunched up his nose, "Prob'ly not," he admitted. He turned to Mr. Scott, "I would have cleaned it up, but Mr. Spot in'erupted me."

"Well, off you go then. Set him to work Mr. Scott," the admiral said with a straight face.

"Aye, sir. That I will. Well, come on now," he said to Jimmy, leading him away. "Can ya be explaining t' me laddie why you had t' take the  _whole_  console apart?"

Chris could not hear Jimmy's reply because he was laughing too hard.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mush alert!

* * *

 

Spock stood at attention in the ready room in front of a sitting Admiral Pike.

"Alright Spock, I am finished discussing this debacle and what you did wrong and what you could have done."

Spock shoulders relaxed slightly.

"I promised Jimmy I would go easy on you since it seems you have already resolved this conflict. Just remember he's only a five-year old boy right now Spock. A human boy, made up of human emotions."

"Yes, sir."

"Have a seat Spock."

"Thank you, Admiral."

"I am curious, what was he doing on that shuttle?"

Spock hesitated momentarily in the process of sitting and his ears took on a slight green tinge. "He was attempting to escape and find you Admiral. He took apart the navigation console trying to bypass the security programs that are in place. I believe humans refer to it as 'hotwiring.' He was very close to accomplishing it when I interrupted him, according to Mr. Scott."

"That boy is too smart for his own good, always was." Admiral Pike shook his head. "When he was twelve, he hotwired his old man's corvette; drove it into a quarry. Lucky he didn't kill himself. He always did act without thinking. That boy's going to need a talking to. Hopefully the adult Jim has outgrown this. "

"Admiral, if I may interject?" At Pike's nod of assent, Spock continued. "It is my observation that Captain Kirk usually shows a great deal of forethought. I believe that it sometimes appears he is being impetuous because his thought processes are so rapid."

"That is quite a compliment, Spock."

"It was not given lightly, sir."

Pike stared at Spock for a few moments, "I'm glad to hear that, as an admiral and as someone who cares about Jim."

Spock simply nodded.

"Time to get down to brass tacks," Pike said, changing the subject. "Any progress with getting Jim back to himself?"

"Mr. Scott has found an unexplained anomaly that took place during the captain's beam-up and that of the Tribble. It is inconsistent with any known information we have of ion storm interference. We are investigating it."

Pike nodded his head, "Good, I think I will go down to the transporter room and take a look. I've seen a lot of strange things over the years. Maybe I can help?"

"Your input would be welcome, Admiral."

"Besides," Pike laughed, "I think Jimmy's going to be busy for a while with Mr. Scott."

 

* * *

 

Admiral Pike and Spock were leaning over the transporter console reviewing the logs and data.

"Do you see that dip in the power right there, Admiral?" Spock asked pointing to the inflection in the data. "It occurred in the last zero point oh four seconds of re-materialization of the captain. In the case of the Tribble, it happened in the last zero point oh six seconds. So it is not consistent, but there never-the-less."

"Have you run another test since then?"

"No, sir. The Sesphesians do not like lowering their planetary shields more than is necessary."

"Well, I think we should contact them and do another transporter test."

"Yes, sir." Spock replied. "I shall inform you when it is arranged so you may be present."

"Thank you Spock, I shall be in engineering," and with that, the admiral left the room.

 

* * *

 

Heading down to engineering, Chris Pike tried to imagine the discussion he was about to have with Jimmy about the seriousness and repercussions of his attempted escape. 'It couldn't be that hard, could it?' He reasoned to himself. 'After all, he had spent years dealing with recalcitrant cadets.'

He expected to find an over-active five-year-old running around in engineering; instead, he found Jimmy quietly working on his PADD, his little shoulders tense. Mr. Scott was nearby carefully watching the boy. Something was up. He raised brows and looked at the chief engineer in question. Mr. Scott, looking as serious as Chris Pike had ever seen him, just nodded his head in Jimmy's direction.

"Jim, what are you doing?" Chris asked the child.

Jimmy looked up at him, his face pale and taut.

When he answered, his voice was low and trembling, "Mr. Scott made me look up all the things that could'a gone wrong with the space shuttle and what it's like ta be stranded in space."

The admiral raised one eyebrow, glancing over at the chief engineer and then back to the boy.

"Mr. Scott is right. I came down here to discuss that very topic. You shouldn't have tried to run off like that Jimmy; you could have been hurt or worse. There are a lot of people on this ship who care very much for you James Kirk. They would be very upset if anything happened to you."

The boy's eyes widened, then he set down the PADD and stubbornly crossed his arms, not looking at either man.

"You know," Chris said, "for someone so smart, you're not thinking very straight. Why do you think Mr. Scott made you look those things up? He did not do it just to be mean and scare you Jimmy. He cares about you and wanted you to realize how dangerous your attempt to run away was."

Jimmy glanced up at the engineer.

"That's right laddie, do ya know how upsettin' it was, thinkin' of ya all alone in the black. Have a heart Jimmy! How could ya do that t' me? I thought we were friends," Mr. Scott beseeched, calling upon the boy's conscience.

The small boy's bottom lip began to tremble, water pooling in his blue eyes. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean ta upset you. I jus' needed ta go." He then turned his gaze upon the admiral. "I was goin' ta find you, that's why I tried ta leave, but I heard what you jus' said. You said 'they' would be upset, not 'we' would be upset. Don't you care?" he asked rising out of his seat, nearly yelling now. "I thought you said you would always want me. Now you found out I was bad and you don' want me no more!"

The child made a mad dash to escape, but Chris had anticipated it and cut him off. Grabbing the struggling boy, he hefted him over his shoulder easily and turned to the chief engineer. "Mr. Scott, could I please make use of your office?"

"Aye, sir. Right through that door," he replied, pointing out the proper doorway.

"Thank you. Come on Jim, you and I are going to have a talk," and the admiral calmly hauled the child into the aforementioned office, all the while ignoring the screams to be put down.

'Nope, not that different from the cadets,' he concluded.

 

* * *

 

Chris Pike turned around after coding the door to lock and faced his small adversary. Jimmy was sitting in the chair, where Chris had plopped him, breathing heavily and glaring at him. Tear tracks were staining his face, but he looked ready to spit fire. 'That's my boy,' Chris thought, 'ready to take on the world. Only five years old and so damaged already.' It was heart breaking. Taking a deep breath, he approached the child.

"Jimmy, you were putting meaning into my words that I didn't intend, son. I said 'they' instead of' we' because I thought you already knew how much 'I' cared." He knelt down in front of the boy, putting his hands on his arms. Mostly to get his attention, but also to make sure one of those clenched fists couldn't hit him. He would not put it past the boy when he was in defensive mode.

Using a calming voice, he said, "I didn't intend to tell you this until tonight, but now seems the right time. Your mother has given me permission to become your guardian. She signed the paperwork and sent it to me earlier today."

The calm voice seemed to be working. Chris noted that Jimmy's breathing started to even out and his fists relaxed their grip.

The small brows knitted together as the boy tried to make sense of what was being said. "What does that mean? Do I still live with Nana?"

Blowing out a breath, he answered the child. "No Jimmy, that was over twenty years ago. Your Nana passed a long time ago."

The boy looked upset and embarrassed, "Oh yeah, I forgot. Mr. Spot s'planed 'bout that to me. I guess mom got stuck raisin' me once, she don't want to do it again, huh?"

Chris tried to control the tic in his left eye. "Something like that," he responded.

"Am I stuck bein' little forever?"

"I don't know. I hope not, because you are a pretty amazing adult, but I thought we should have a plan. Just in case. It means I would adopt you. You would come to live with me, Jimmy. I know you're upset and this is hard for you to understand, but I am here and I want to take care of you. Would you like that?" he asked, holding his breath awaiting the child's reply.

Tears spilled out of the blue eyes again, as Jimmy nodded his head. "Yes," he replied, smiling through the tears.

 

* * *

 

Scotty glanced through the window into his office. Not that he was spying or anything, and the admiral did leave the electric shades open. He just wanted to make sure that his little captain was all right. The sight that met his eyes had him clearing his throat and blowing his nose with his kerchief. The Admiral was down on the floor in his dress uniform with Jimmy clutched to him. They were both laughing and crying at the same time.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, we all know that transporter technology in the Star Trek universe is sketchy and vague at best, so I am taking a few liberties (which means making stuff up right and left). Just go with it.

* * *

 

Admiral Pike looked around the sleeping quarters with satisfaction. He entered the bathroom, which led to an adjoined room, Jimmy following behind him. "Ok, kiddo. This is going to be your room. I will be right next door. We can leave the bathroom doors open, so I can hear you if you need me. All right?"

Jimmy gulped, looking around the room. "Ok," he agreed, looking back up at Chris.

Chris gave him a comforting smile, letting him know everything would be all right. "Go get your pajamas on. The quartermaster left them over there," he said, nodding towards the bed. He walked over to a chair and sat down, waiting as the small boy took the pajamas and went into the bathroom to change. "Don't forget to brush your teeth," he yelled over his shoulder towards the bathroom. A few moments later, he could hear the water running and smiled to himself.

He had requested adjoining rooms for himself and Jimmy. The boy had been sleeping down in engineering on a cot the past few days. That evening, when Chris suggested it was getting close to his bedtime, Jimmy asked, "Are you goin' to sleep down here too?"

That was all it took for Chris to start making other arrangements. Being an admiral had some benefits and one was that he didn't have to sleep down in engineering on a stiff cot.

There was no way Jimmy would have slept in the captain's quarters all alone and the admiral was not about to usurp that position from Jim or Spock, or even let people think he was, by sleeping in the captain's room with him. The child was still being vigilant about keeping Chris in sight and Chris had no compunctions about indulging Jimmy's behavior. This was a second chance for Jim to have someone stable in his life, someone he could rely on to take care of him, and Chris was willing to take on that responsibility for the present and the future if necessary. The easiest and most proper solution seemed to be adjoining rooms. There were plenty of them in the guest section set aside for dignitaries. Therefore, this was how Admiral Christopher Pike found himself, at twenty-two hundred hours, tucking a small James T Kirk into bed.

 

* * *

 

The years had not dulled Christopher Pike's senses. He came awake all at once feeling a disruption in the air in the room. Not moving a muscle, he listened for any sound, a clue as to what woke him. He could hear soft breathing coming closer until it was so close he could feel it on his face.

"Chris?" The boy whispered. "Are you awake?"

Chris opened one eye to find Jimmy inches from his face. "I am now. What's wrong?" he asked, sitting up and looking the boy over.

Jimmy uncharacteristically fidgeted with his hands. "I can't sleep. My room's too quiet."

Chris could see the writing on the wall or in this case, on the bed. "Too quiet, huh? Would you like to sleep in here with me? I can't guarantee it will be any noisier."

The child instantly perked up. "Sure it will, you snore."

"I do not."

"Sure you do. It's really loud like this..." and Jimmy proceeded to make loud snoring sounds, contorting his face. Suddenly he was giggling as Chris dragged him under the covers and into bed.

"Ok, you. I'll let you sleep with me, but on the one condition that you don't tell anyone that I snore. Deal?"

"Deal."

Chris pulled the small body close to his. One arm wrapped around the small chest, keeping him safe through the night.

 

* * *

 

The next morning found Jimmy eating breakfast with the admiral and Dr. McCoy. McCoy could not believe how chipper the boy seemed. He was literally bouncing in his chair. "Did you give him sugar or somethin'?" The doctor inquired of the admiral. "He's bouncing off the walls."

The admiral glanced down at Jimmy and then looked back at the doctor with a confused look. "What do you mean? He's always like that. I told you he was energetic."

Jimmy piped up, "I'm just happy."

"Oh?" The doctor inquired, "Why are you so happy this mornin'?"

"Cause Chris is goin' to send in the forms to 'dopt me."

McCoy lifted one brow and looked over at the admiral. "Is that so? Well, we're goin' to have to celebrate after," he drawled, smiling at the boy. "It's not everah day you get adopted."

Jimmy nodded smiling and shoved another spoon of oatmeal in his mouth, bouncing as he ate it.

McCoy just smiled and shook his head looking down. He lifted his eyes back up to the admiral and opened his mouth to say something, when Mr. Spock interrupted him.

"Admiral, James, Doctor," Spock greeted them. "Admiral, I believe you wanted to be informed when we received permission from Sestis IV to run another transporter test?"

"Yes, Mr. Spock. When is the test scheduled for?"

"In twenty-three point five minutes, Sir."

"Well, we had better get to the transporter room then. Doctor, are you coming along?" he asked, looking at McCoy.

"I'd like to, if you don't mind Admiral," McCoy replied.

"Not at all. We'll need your medical expertise." Chris looked down at Jimmy. The boy was looking at him with puppy dog eyes that could rival even Chekov. "Ok, you don't have to give me those eyes. You can come along; just don't get in the way."

"Yes, sir!" Jimmy chirped, giving him a brilliant smile.

 

* * *

 

At oh nine hundred hours the transporter test commenced.

Jimmy stood off to one side, out of the way, and watched as Sestis IV lowered their planetary shields and a tribble dematerialized off a transporter pad. The adults in the room were all busy at the control panel.

"Sestis IV, do you copy?" Spock asked through the comm link. "This is acting Captain Spock. Did you receive the tribble in stable condition?"

"Yes, Captain . The tribble is here and in good condition. No age regression, sir."

"Thank you. Please prepare to energize the tribble on my count." Spock turned to Mr. Scott and the admiral, "Gentlemen, are you ready?"

"Aye, sir," Scotty replied, ready at the controls and busy looking over the readouts.

"Go ahead Mr. Spock," the admiral commanded, also watching the readouts.

Spock nodded at the admiral and pushed the comm link button, "On my mark. Five, four, three, two, one, energize."

Mr. Scott was adjusting the transporter controls to receive the tribble back on the ship. Mr. Spock and the admiral were watching the readouts. Just as the tribble was almost rematerialized, they saw the anomaly occur. Mr. Spock pointed to it, "There."

The admiral quickly adjusted some controls to check something. "Ah ha! I had a hunch this could be the problem. I saw this happen once before, about twelve years ago. We were transferring prisoners from a penal colony and they were overly cautious with security."

McCoy was on the transporter pad scanning the small, regressed tribble. "You have it figured out?" he asked.

"I think so," the admiral answered. "I would bet my bars that the anomaly we are seeing coincides with the planetary shields being re-engaged. Standard federation treaties call for ten seconds after transporter dematerialization before any shields can be re-engaged. I am not aware of Sestis IV having any disallowment to that rule. It wasn't the ion storm that caused the problem gentlemen; it was the transporter technician on Sestis IV not following protocol."

Mr. Spock raised a brow, "Fascinating, so you are hypothesizing that the molecules being rematerialized were literally repressed during that last fractional second, resulting in the subject experiencing an age regression?"

The admiral shouldn't have been surprised at Mr. Spock grasping the situation so quickly, "Exactly, Mr. Spock."

McCoy looked up from his tricorder, "So, what do we do next?"

"Very simple doctor," Spock replied, "we test this hypothesis by requesting another test and making sure that safety protocols are followed. If we get a healthy  _adult_  tribble back, then we know the cause.

The admiral walked over to the comm link and hit the button somewhat hard, "Sestis IV, this is Admiral Christopher Pike on board the Federation Starship Enterprise. I would like to speak with the commanding officer on duty." Pike's voice did not leave any room for refusal.

 

* * *

 

Fifteen minutes later an  _adult_  tribble was sitting on the transporter pad.

McCoy was scanning the animal with his tricorder. "All seems well Admiral. Heart rate, respiration rate, brain activity, age; it all matches up with before we transported it. We sent an adult tribble and got an adult tribble back. Looks like you were right. The question now is how do we change the regressed tribble back to an adult? "

The admiral looked over at Mr. Spock, "Spock?"

Standing with his hands clasped behind his back, Spock addressed McCoy. "I believe I have the answer to that, Doctor. We know the amount of time the molecules were suppressed during rematerialization. We would use the proper corresponding fractional second to amplify the matter rematerialization of the regressed tribble at the last moment, while simultaneously comparing the molecular pattern with its previously stored trace pattern. In theory, it should rectify the problem."

"Gentlemen," the admiral addressed them all, "I think we should retire to the conference room at ten hundred hours to discuss this. Mr. Spock, please include any personnel you feel would have pertinent input. "

 

* * *

 

The admiral, Mr. Spock, Mr. Scott, Dr. McCoy, and Mr. Chekov were all assembled in the conference room at ten hundred hours. Jimmy tried to use his best puppy dog eyes, but the admiral could not be budged, and he was sent off with Lieutenant Uhura to learn about the communications center.

"Mr. Spock, could you please bring Mr. Chekov up to speed on the situation?" the admiral asked of the lieutenant commander.

Spock raised one eyebrow, confusedly tilting his head and opened his mouth to address the admiral. Pike just raised one hand, "Don't ask, just brief him on the situation," he replied, shaking his head and trying not to smile along with everyone else at the table.

"Yes, sir. Mr. Chekov, we now know that the captain's age regression was caused by technical error. Not on our part, but that of the transporter technician on Sestis IV. He was not following standard federation protocol and engaged the planetary shields to soon after energizing the captain."

"Ahh," Chekov remarked, his eyes alight with perception, "the molecular pattern was changed, yes?"

"Yes, now we must come up with a computer program that will adjust the subject's trace pattern and correct for the regression, when rematerializing, by comparison with the old trace pattern. Do you have any input Ensign Chekov?"

"I can do zat. The transporter can be modified using the computer program to reconfigure the matter stream during molecular conwersion."

"Aye," Scotty interjected, "I think that'll work."

Pike rubbed his hands together, "Gentlemen, get to work."

 

* * *

 

Scotty and Chekov had the new computer program written by fourteen hundred hours and informed the admiral and Mr. Spock, who was the acting captain, that testing could take place any time after fifteen hundred hours. They would have the transporter modified and the program in place by then.

 

* * *

 

In the mean time, Jimmy was growing steadily quieter as the morning wore on and Uhura was getting worried. By twelve thirty hours, the child was sitting in a chair staring at the floor and only responded in monosyllabic answers. They were down in engineering, in the communications department, and not even the enticement of going up to the bridge would cheer the child up. Uhura let out a breath of relief when the admiral finally showed up to collect his charge for lunch.

"Hey, Jimmy. How's it going down here? Did you learn a lot?" the admiral asked.

"Yeah, it was ok," he quietly replied, looking at the admiral expectantly.

Chris looked a little confused by the child's behavior. "You feeling all right, Jimmy?"

The child looked down to hide his disappointment, "Jus' hungry."

"Well, why don't we go fix that? Thank you Lieutenant for keeping him busy."

The admiral nodded to Uhura and she smiled in reply, "He was no problem, sir."

Reaching down, Chris swooped Jimmy up onto his hip, "Come on, I'm hungry too."

As they walked down the corridor, Jimmy was still answering in monosyllables to all of the admiral's questions about his morning. Chris stopped in a deserted part of a corridor, "Jimmy, what's wrong? And don't tell me nothing."

The child looked up at him, "Did you find out how ta fix the trans-sporter problum?" he asked.

Chris smiled, "Actually, yes. We think we have the problem figured out and will be testing it this afternoon. You might be back to your grown-up self by dinner time."

"Oh, I guess that means you don't have ta 'dopt me anymore," he replied in a pitiful voice.

Chris felt his stomach fall to the floor. How could he have forgotten? He felt like the worst guardian in the universe and he hadn't even finalized it yet. How could he have forgotten how important this was to Jimmy, how excited he had been about it that morning? With all the testing and planning, it had completely slipped his mind.

"Oh, Jimmy. I am the worst person ever. You have been waiting all morning for this, haven't you? Waiting very patiently too, I might add and I know how hard that is for you. Come on, let's go eat lunch in our rooms and we can discuss this. Ok?"

Jimmy nodded and gave Chris a hopeful smile.

 

* * *

 

The door to the room slid shut behind them and Chris put Jimmy down. "Let's go sit on the couch and discuss this," he said, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder and steering him over to the couch. Once they were settled in, he turned to look Jimmy in the eye, "Jimmy, I never had to adopt you. I wanted to adopt you. I have always looked upon you as my son. I know this is something that you really want. I want it too... I am just not sure if the adult you will want this."

"How could he not?" Jimmy asked, tears starting to gather in his eyes.

The boy was preparing to have his heart broken, Chris could tell. How could he do this to the child?

"I'll tell you what, we'll go ahead and send in the forms. If the adult you doesn't want this, then we can have it nullified, that means canceled. How does that sound?"

Jimmy smiled and a tear slowly worked its way down his cheek, "Can we do it now?"

Chris wiped the tear away with his thumb, "Sure, let's do it right now and then we can celebrate with cheeseburgers and ice cream."

Jimmy's smile lit up the room, "French fries too?"

"French fries too."


	15. Chapter 15

* * *

 

Commander Spock stood near the entrance to recreation room two, his eyes scanning the crowd. It did not take long before his gaze located the individual he was seeking. Seated at a small table in a quiet corner of the room, was Admiral Pike. Young Jimmy was with him and they appeared to be playing cards. The admiral had opted to be absent from the transporter tests that afternoon; instead, wanting to spend time with Jimmy.

Spock moved through the rec room toward their table. When he had almost reached their position, he saw Jimmy throw his head back laughing, and heard him say, "Go fish!"

The admiral looked up at Spock, as he neared the table, searching his eyes in question. Spock simply gave him a nod. The smile slipping slightly from his face, Chris reached for a card from the pile in the middle of the small table. "Pull up a chair, Commander," he said, studying his cards.

Spock pulled a chair over from a nearby table and sat down, understanding that he was being asked to wait. He did not begrudge the admiral these last few minutes with his small charge.

"Hi Mr. Spot," Jimmy smiled at him, "Do you want ta play with us?"

"No, thank you. I shall simply observe."

Jimmy looked very seriously at his hand, "Do you have any threes?" he asked.

Chris shook his head in disbelief, "You must be cheating," he complained, as he took the cards out of his hand and gave them to a giggling Jimmy.

Spock watched them playing their card game for approximately twelve point five minutes. It ended with Jimmy crowing, "I won again!"

Chris laughed as he gathered up the cards, "I still think you must have been cheating."

"I wasn't cheatin'," Jimmy, giggled, "I was just countin' cards."

Spock lifted one brow, "A most logical action."

Jimmy beamed, "See? Mr. Spot thinks it was smart."

"Yeah, yeah," Chris complained, "remind me not to play poker with you when you're older. Mr. Spock," he turned toward the commander, "I take it the tests were successful?"

"Yes, Admiral. They were indeed successful."

Chris was not looking forward to this. He knew logically that Jimmy had to be returned to his adult self, it was his heart that was having problems. He never imagined it would be so hard to give Jimmy up. For a moment, he contemplated keeping Jimmy and letting him grow up again; with Chris as his loving father, the child would never know neglect or abuse. Chris realized though that these trials are what made Jim the captain he is. Dr. McCoy was right; he had to give Jim back.

"Well, Jimmy," he tried to keep his voice light, "I guess it's time for you to change back into the captain. You ready?"

Jimmy studied the admiral's face. Chris smiled and winked at him, "It will be alright son."

"Yes, sir. I'm ready," he replied with a gulp.

 

* * *

 

The transporter room was filled with people. Mr. Chekov was there to run the transporter- computer programs. Mr. Scott was there to handle the transporter controls. Dr. McCoy and Nurse Chapel were there, ready for any medical emergency. Mr. Spock was there, in the capacity of acting captain, to oversee it all. The admiral and Jimmy were off to one side, waiting and quietly talking.

Earlier, when they had left the rec room, Mr. Spock had suggested that they change Jimmy into some adult clothes, "I think the captain would appreciate avoiding any embarrassing situations."

Therefore, after some deliberation, Jimmy was dressed in his adult counterpart's t-shirt and a pair of elastic waist running shorts.

Chris was sitting on the far side of the transporter pads, on the step, with Jimmy perched on his lap. "Hey kiddo, make sure you hold onto your shorts when you stand up. OK?" Chris was bent over the child's head, talking quietly in his ear.

Jimmy nodded his head in affirmation, barely moving within the circle of Chris' arms.

The admiral reached down and took one small, bare foot in his hand. It felt cold to the touch, "Are you cold, Jimmy?" The little head nodded again, against his chest. He rubbed one foot and then the other, trying to help warm them up. "It shouldn't be much longer," he murmured. Chris wasn't sure if he was trying to comfort the child or himself.

"Admiral," Spock stepped up to them, "we are ready."

"Thank you, Commander. Ok, Jim. This is it," he said standing up and carrying Jimmy over to the designated pad. He went down on one knee and set the child on the transporter pad. Jimmy looked so small and forlorn, standing there holding on to the waistband of the large shorts, with his bare feet sticking out. He was gripping the shorts so tightly his knuckles were white. Chris wrapped the little body in his arms for one last hug and breathed in deeply, trying to memorize the smell of his precious child. "Remember," he whispered for only the child to hear, "this isn't goodbye. You will be right back and I will be here waiting. I love you Jimmy."

"Luv you too," came the soft reply.

He placed a kiss on the soft, white-blonde hair and pulled back to look into the boy's eyes, "All set?"

Large blue eyes looked trustingly at him and the small head nodded, "All set."

Chris stood up and backed down off the transporter pad, his eyes never leaving Jimmy. "You've done this before Jimmy," he smiled, "piece of cake."

The admiral glanced over at Mr. Spock, "You've triple checked this, right?"

"Yes, Admiral. Nothing should go wrong," Spock assured him.

Letting his eyes take in one last look at his little boy, the admiral gave the command, "Energize."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, remember how I winged it with the transporter business? I am doing it again here with medical "stuff." If you have a medical background, please do not message me telling me how wrong all the meds and diagnosis are. I know it's BS, like before, just go with it. :)

* * *

Letting his eyes take in one last look at his little boy, the admiral gave the command, "Energize."

 

* * *

 

They all watched as the child dematerialized, disappearing in a swirl of blue and white sparkles.

McCoy quietly sidled up to the admiral, "You all right, Admiral?"

"I will be, as soon as Jim's back on that pad safe and sound."

"Amen to that," McCoy quietly agreed.

Spock's commanding voice called out, "Rematerialization in five, four, three, two, one. Energize!"

Everyone in the room held their collective breaths, as the transporter beam coalesced into a tall figure. The next moment, the captain of the Enterprise was standing on the transporter pad in his t-shirt and shorts. Hands were still gripping the waistband of the running shorts. Jim did not move. He just stood there swaying slightly and blinking. Then, as if his legs could not hold his body weight any longer, Jim slowly fell down to his knees.

Coming out of their momentary shock, McCoy and Pike both rushed up to the captain, grabbing his arms, one on each side. They were the only thing preventing Jim from hitting the floor face first.

"Jim!" Pike's voice was loud with the buzz of adrenaline pumping through him, but there was no response. Jim's head lolled on his neck like a rag doll.

McCoy already had his tricorder out, waving it in front of the captain's face, "We need to lay him down. His blood pressure is bottoming."

Nurse Chapel was there suddenly, helping to lower the captain.

McCoy looked up at her, "vasovagal syncope, get his legs up. We don't want him going into a seizure."

"Yes, Doctor." Christine quickly and efficiently followed directions.

McCoy was scanning him again, "Give me 30cc's of Tri-ox."

"No Atropine, Doctor?" Chapel questioned him, as she reached into the med bag and got the hypo of Tri-ox ready.

"Hell, no. I don't want ta give him a heart attack. His whole nervous system is haywire right now. Until we understand what is goin' on, minimal intervention. Let's start with getting some oxygen ta his brain and see if his vagus nerve settles on its own," McCoy instructed as he pressed the hypo to Jim's neck. "Come on Jim," he said as he flashed a light in his eyes, checking his pupils. Jim let out a low moan, trying to turn away from the light. He put two fingers to Jim's neck, "Ah, that's better. His heart rate is pickin' up.

Jim's eyes fluttered open.

"Welcome back, sleepin' beauty." McCoy turned to address Christine, "You can put his legs down now Nurse, and could you please inform sickbay that we need a stretcher."

"Yes, doctor," Nurse Chapel replied, heading toward the wall comm.

Admiral Pike sat throughout all of this still holding on to Jim's upper arm. He looked up at Dr. McCoy, "What happened to him, Doctor? What is vasovagal syncope? Is it serious?"

Becoming more aware of what was happening around him; Jim heard the question and looked over at McCoy, interested in the answer.

McCoy got a big smirk on his face, "It's a fancy way of sayin' that he fainted." The doctor glanced down at his patient, "Oh don't give me that "I'm a big macho guy and I don't faint look," I know you're a princess under all that."

"Way to kick a guy when he's down," Jim complained, "and by the way, why exactly am I down?"

McCoy shot a quick look at the admiral and then turned to Jim, all business, "Do you know where you are Jim and what you were doing?"

Jim looked around the room and saw Spock, Scotty, and Chekov all watching him, looking worried. Well, Spock didn't do worried, he just looked interested. Realizing that his mind was wandering, he turned back toward McCoy, "I'm in the transporter room. I guess I was beaming up? I don't really remember. Bones, what happened?" Jim asked, starting to wonder if he should panic.

McCoy put a hand on his shoulder, "Don't panic," he said, knowing what was going on in his friend's mind, "your nervous system just went through a huge scrambling. Give it time ta settle down. I am sure it will all come back ta you. By the way, you can let go of your shorts now. I don't think they're going ta fall down." Chris Pike made a sound that was suspiciously like stifled laughter.

Jim realized that indeed, his hands were gripping onto the waistband of his shorts. He forced his hands to relax and let go.

Chris claimed the free hand closest to him, "Don't ever scare the shit out of me like that again," he vehemently complained.

Jim opened his mouth to ask the admiral why he was there, but was cut off when the door to the room opened and the medics came in carrying a stretcher.

Jim made a feeble attempt to get up.

"Oh, no you don't!" McCoy yelled at him, holding him down by the shoulder. "You try that again and I will hypo your ass into next week. You just passed out because your blood pressure went through the floor and your brain wasn't gettin' enough oxygen. Until I am sure that isn't goin' to happen again, you do not stand up. Got it?"

"Yes, mom." Jim had to admit, he was still feeling somewhat queasy. He capitulated and let the medics lift him onto the stretcher. He really had no choice, until he found out what was going on.


	17. Chapter 17

* * *

 

Jim lay on the bio bed listening to Mr. Spock update him on ship status, the heart monitor beeping a steady rhythm in the background. McCoy was hovering nearby, running another test.

"The science team has been beamed aboard and we are ready to leave orbit, Captain," Mr. Spock reported in his brisk manner, "Are there any further orders, sir?"

"No, Mr. Spock. Thank you," he murmured.

Spock simply nodded and left his captain to his distracted thoughts.

Jim's mind was working overtime trying to remember the last few days. It  _had_  been days, according to McCoy, even though the last thing he remembered was being down on Sestis IV.

"Jim?" McCoy laid a hand on his arm.

"Oh, sorry. My mind was wandering," he quietly replied.

McCoy's brows knitted together, "Well, I imagine you've got a lot on your mine right now, but everything checks out ok. Your BP, electrolytes, and heart rate are all normal. It must have been a neurological reaction ta having your molecules scrambled. If you notice anythin' unusual I want you ta let me know right away. Ok? And make sure you eat somethin'."

"Yeah, sure Bones," Jim answered, as he sat up on the bio bed.

"You know, we never had that brandy. If you feel like comin' round later, the offer still stands."

Jim smiled up at his friend, "Thanks, Bones. I might take you up on that."

Before McCoy could say anything else, Admiral Pike entered the room.

"How's our patient Doctor?" he addressed McCoy, though his eyes were on Jim.

"According ta all the tests, he's fine, Admiral. I'd like ta keep him on light duty for the next twelve hours, just ta make sure."

"I think that can be managed, Doctor. We don't anticipate any excitement for the next twenty-four hours, just a boring flight back to Earth," the admiral replied. He ignored the piercing look Jim was drilling into him and addressed the doctor, "If the captain can leave now, I would be happy to escort him to his quarters?" It wasn't really a question and Jim and Bones both knew it.

"Absolutely Admiral, he's all yours," McCoy capitulated.

"Traitor," Jim muttered under his breath. McCoy just smirked at him, nodded to the admiral and walked across the room to give them some privacy.

"Come on, Jim. Walk with me," the admiral requested.

Jim hopped down off the bio bed and they walked out of sickbay, their steps in sync with one another.

Jim glanced over at the admiral and Pike met his eyes. "Go ahead, I can see you want to ask me something," the admiral prompted, as they walked down the corridor.

"I know my memory is a little fuzzy right now, but is there anything I have to be embarrassed about from the past few days?" His face took on a slight pink tinge and he looked distinctly uncomfortable.

That was not the question that Chris had expected. He thought for sure Jim was going to comment on the course change to Earth and argue it. 'Instead, the kid asks about his behavior the past few days. Spock was right, Jim has matured,' he thought.

Thinking about the question, Chris was surprised that he hadn't asked the doctor, Leonard being his best friend, and was pleased that instead Jim came to him with his inquiry. Chris was not fooled by the seemingly innocent question. He knew Jim Kirk and understood the real question. Jim wanted to know if he had done anything to make his crew think less of him. Outwardly, Jim was a very gregarious person, but Chris knew it covered up the insecurities and manic need to prove himself worthy. Pike knew that if Jim did not regain his memory, his crew would never tease him about any of it. In the short time that he has held the position of Captain of the Enterprise, Jim has gained the respect of his entire crew.

"No, Jim. You haven't done anything to lose the respect of your crew." He could see the relief on Jim's face but at the same time vulnerability that Pike understood him so well. Feeling a need to ease the situation, Chris decided to tease him a little, "Of course, I did hear a few stories." He smirked, "Apparently you threw up on the good doctor, then there was Mr. Scott pulling you naked out of the ventilation shafts."

"Oh, no, no!" Jim moaned, holding one hand over his face, trying to hide the deep red blush. "Seriously, I did that?"

They stopped in front of the door to the admiral's quarters. Pike chuckled, "I am sure they won't hold it against you. You  _were_  only five years old you know?"

Inhaling deeply, Jim blew out a loud breath, "Yeah, Bones explained. I still find it hard to believe."

Chris put in his security code and the door swished open. He clapped a hand to Jim's shoulder, "Come on," he said, "I have something to show you that might help."

 

* * *

 

The admiral found a priority message waiting for him when they entered his quarters. He told Jim to make himself at home while he went into the other room to take the call. So, Jim found himself sitting on the couch, his mind wandering back to a conversation he had with Bones, earlier in sickbay.

_"Bones, this may seem like a stupid question, but why was I beaming up from Sestis IV with running shorts on? I clearly remember having my uniform on earlier."_

_The good doctor snorted, "That 'earlier' was four days ago, Jim."_

_"Wait! Four days ago? What am I missing here?" Jim tried to sit up and McCoy pushed him back down._

_"Don't get your knickers in a knot. Let me explain. There was an ion storm the mornin' you beamed down ta the planet. Do you remember that?"_

_Jim nodded his head in affirmation._

_"Well, when Mr. Scott beamed ya back up, there was, in his words, "A wee bit of a problem." You were "Wee" all right, as in shrunk, small, five years old."_

_"Bullshit!"_

_"I shit you not," McCoy replied, smiling. "You were wearin' shorts because the Admiral and Spock decided that would be the easiest clothes for you ta grow back into - so ta speak - when they reverted you._

_Jim looked mortified, "Spock dressed me!? Get out! You're pulling my leg."_

_"Actually, I think the admiral dressed you that time, we've all been takin' turns," he laughed at the expression on the captain's face, "an' I have pictures ta prove it's all true."_

_"Oh," Jim moaned, "this is a nightmare. Someone wake me up. All this because of an ion storm?"_

_"It wasn't the ion storm that caused the problem," McCoy explained, "It was the transporter technician on Sestis IV. Apparently he wasn't followin' protocol and engaged the planetary shields before you were done rematerializin'. It took us a few days to figure it out. You can ask Spock, Chekov, or Scotty for the details."_

That was it, Jim couldn't handle sitting on the couch any longer. He had too much nervous energy and too many unanswered questions, so he got up and paced around Pike's living area in his quarters. Jim took in the plush accommodations, which were meant for dignitaries. He hadn't really ever had a reason to be in any of these quarters before, so he was naturally curious. He didn't expect there to be anything of a personal nature, so the framed certificate with a picture stuck in one corner caught his attention. He picked it up to get a better look and his breath caught in his throat. He looked it over again just to make sure he was not mistaken; it was dated earlier that very afternoon.

 

* * *

 

When the admiral finished his call and came back into the room, he found Jim sitting on the couch, slumped forward with his head in his hands. Jimmy's framed adoption certificate and a picture of them pushing the send button together were lying on the sofa next to Jim.

Chris blew out a sigh and Jim lifted angry, confused eyes to him. "Hell, I'm sorry Jim. I didn't plan on you finding out this way. Let me explain."

Jim clenched his jaw, "Sure  _DAD_ , explain. It seems a lot went on in the last few days. More than just wardrobe decisions, huh?"

The admiral braced himself. James T. Kirk could be downright nasty when he felt threatened. And nothing made Jim feel more threatened than his own insecurities.

"Jim, come here please. There is something you need to see."

Jim shot to his feet, "You expect me to trust you when you did this without my knowledge or consent?"

"Dammit, Jim! You were five years old. We had no idea if you were going to be stuck like that. I wasn't about to let you be raised by Winona again. Besides, it can be nullified if you really want." Chris paused, "I do want you Jim. I always did. I finally got the chance, and I took advantage of it."

It hurt Chris to see how fragile Jim looked, standing there with his fists clenched at his sides. Angry and too afraid of believing in something that had the capacity to hurt so deeply. However, Chris knew his boy. He had to force him to take a leap of faith. He just hoped Jim was up for the challenge and that there was enough of little Jimmy left inside of him.

"If you won't trust me, maybe you'll trust yourself." Chris walked over to the computer on the desk and called up a vid file. "Watch it," he said, and then walked out of his quarters, leaving behind a confused James Kirk.


	18. Chapter 18

* * *

 

Curiosity won out and Jim walked over to the computer. Sitting in the chair, he then pushed a button to view the vid. He didn't know what to expect but it certainly wasn't his younger self staring out from the screen at him. Jim took in the white-blonde hair and large blue eyes. It certainly looked like a younger version of himself.

His younger self looked over to the side, off screen, and addressed someone, "You can't stay in here. This is pivate. It's b'tween me and my older self."

Jim could hear Chris' voice off to the side, "Oh, excuse me. I'll just wait in your room, next door. Ok?"

"Ok," the little voice piped. "I'll yell when I'm done."

Jim couldn't believe that he was ever that small, and bossy too. It really was fascinating watching his younger self. His mom never took any vids of him or Sam, after his dad died. Once, he had caught Sam watching a vid of mom, dad and himself before Jim was born. He remembered how happy they all seemed and how he had felt like an intruder. Even after all these years, Jim could still feel the shame wash over himself.

The little voice started talking again, "Hi there, I'm Jimmy and you're 'posed ta be my older self. I jus' wanted to splain to you how 'mportant this 'doption thing is, so Chris said I could leave you a message. I can't imagine that you wouldn't want Chris for our dad, but he says maybe you won't." Jimmy scrunched his nose to the side while he thought, "Maybe you don't 'member how awful it was livin' with Nana, but take my word for it, it's awful."

Jim snorted. "Kid, you don't know the half of it," he muttered, "living with Nana was a piece of cake."

"Chris says I should tell you 'bout what happened," Jimmy stopped to scratch his face, "Well, It started when I got shrunk by the trans-sporter, then Mr. Spot was mean ta me and dumped me in sickbay, but he did 'pologize later. Scotty was nice though. Doctor Bones let me eat strawberry ice cream and then he wanted ta give me a shot, so I 'scaped in the ducts like Chris showed me. Pretty smart, huh? But I lost my clothes on the way down ta 'ngineerin'," Jimmy confessed, turning pink. "Scotty fixed me up with itch cream, clothes, and san'wiches. I got ta sleep in 'ngineerin' on a cot an I got my own desk for a project, but I can't talk 'bout that cause I got in trouble for it. Mr. Spot and Chris weren't happy. I had to learn 'bout 'spectin' people's p'ivacy."

Jim huffed a small laugh through his nose.

"Scotty wasn't happy either with what I did to that shuttle; he can be really serious sometimes. But Chris didn't yell or anythin', he jus' made me help clean up all the 'pagetti wires."

Jim laughed aloud at this. He didn't know why the kid was telling him all of this, but it was amusing. Then the smile slid off his face at Jimmy's next words.

"I guess I wasn't happy either cause I heard mom tell Mr. Spot that she didn't want us. That's why I tried to 'scape on the shuttle." Jimmy looked out from the screen so earnestly. "I thought no one wanted me, but you know what? Chris came. I never asked him to come. He jus' knew I wanted him and he came and he took care of me. Chris always knows what I want. He says he'll always want me and love me." Jimmy paused here to look down and think. Looking back up, he shared his epiphany, "I guess that means you too. This is 'mportant, so please don't undo the 'doption. I want Chris ta keep me, so you must want it too. Please? If ya don' member, then ask Mr. Spot. He'll help ya. He p'omised me. That's all I got ta say. It's up ta you now." By the time the child had finished, he had tears in his eyes, but a determined look on his face.

Jim watched as his younger self wiped his eyes and then yelled, "Chris, I'm done."

A few moments later, Chris appeared next to Jimmy. "Hey kiddo, all set?"

"Yup," he said, all serious. "Do ya think he'll watch it?" he asked, concerned.

"I'll make sure, Jimmy." Then Jim could see Chris' hand reach over as he turned the recorder off and the screen went blank.

Jim didn't know how long he sat there, eyes fixed on the empty screen.

Finally, he got up and left the admiral's quarters. He had to move.

 

* * *

 

Dr. McCoy and Nurse Chapel walked down the corridor chatting together. They stopped outside the doctor's room, "Thanks for the company at dinner ta-night, Christine."

"Anytime, Len. Goodnight." Christine gave the doctor a smile and a little wave over her shoulder as she walked away.

He watched her for a moment with a little half smile as he opened his door. Turning to enter his quarters, McCoy pulled up abruptly as he almost collided with the large, dark shadow standing just inside his doorway. "Jesus H. Christ, Jim! Ya almost gave me a heart attack. Why can't you knock like normal people?" McCoy called out, "Computer, lights 60%." He looked at Jim and the rant he was about to give trailed out of his brain, "Ah shit. Have a seat. I take it this is pertainin' ta your little chat with Pike?"

"Bones, do you know what he did?" Jim ranted as he paced back and forth across the small living area, ignoring the doctor's suggestion.

McCoy leaned against a wall and crossed his arms, watching Jim pace. "I assume you're talkin' about the adoption?"

"Hah," Jim scoffed, "Adoption. Do you have any idea how old I am?" He asked throwing his arms out to the side.

McCoy looked amused, "Yes."

"That's beside the point. People my age don't get adopted!"

"They do if they need validation."

"Validation?! What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means maybe you need that piece of paper to authenticate your relationship with Pike."

"Relationship? What relationship? Just because he used to visit when I was a kid doesn't mean we have a relationship!"

"Jim, what is going on here? What am I missin'?"

Jim walked over to a chair and collapsed on to it. He sat forward leaning his elbows on his knees and tiredly put his head in his hands. His voice was so quiet that McCoy had to lean forward to hear him.

"Bones, he had the kid leave me a vid. The kid went on and on about how he wants this adoption and how I should want it too. He has so much faith in Chris."

"Jim, that kid  _is_  you." Jim looked up at his words. "When you beamed back aboard as a five year old, you were traumatized. Here you were, all alone on this big ship. Tryin' ta figure out what was goin' on all by yourself. You know what got you through it? You remembered advice that the admiral gave you, "Trust the Chief Engineer." So you went on that wild trip through the ventilation shafts ta get down to engineerin'. Because it made you feel safer. Hell, to this day, you still go down to engineering ta snooze. Then the admiral shows up outta nowhere because he knows you're all alone and need him. He jumped three ships ta get here and then he gets custody from your mom. Ta your five year old self he  _was_  a hero. The admiral earned his faith."

Jim cleared his throat, "I understand that. I really do. But Bones, somewhere along the way, I lost that faith in Chris. He's been great at times, but when I really needed him, he wasn't there. Frank, Tarsus IV, and all the years after. I don't know Bones. I feel so disconnected from that kid in the vid. I've gotten so used to not depending on anyone but myself."

"I understand Jim, it's scary opening yourself up ta hurt. It's up ta you. You can have the adoption dissolved and keep your relationship with the admiral as it has been, old family friend who looks out for you when he can. Or, you can take a chance at somethin' more. Somethin' permanent. Someone who is willin' ta commit ta bein' there for you and not afraid ta put it in writin'." McCoy waited a few moments and then added, "Just so you know Jim, it will hurt him if you terminate the adoption. The admiral wanted you bad. He was prepared ta raise you if we couldn't put you back. That man really loves you Jim. I'm not sayin' this ta influence you, the decision is yours. I just thought you should know."

"Thanks bones."

"Hey, you want me ta go get somethin' to eat with you? I just ate but I could keep you company. I know you probably haven't eaten anythin' yet."

"I can't eat anything right now Bones. I promise I'll get something later. Thanks for the advice."

"Any time," and with that, Jim walked out the door.


	19. Chapter 19

* * *

 

Spock entered the small observation deck near the officer's mess. It was nineteen thirty hours and the deck would normally be filled with people fraternizing after the evening meal. The room appeared empty, which meant there was a ninety-eight percent probability that the captain was in it somewhere. It was an unspoken rule that when the captain came here to think, any crew would unobtrusively vacate the premises. The captain must have been particularly troubled to come here at this time of the evening, Jim tried to infringe on the crew's off time as little as possible.

Spock quietly walked to the spot where the captain, in most likelihood, would be. He was getting better at learning all the small habits that James Kirk had. As he had anticipated, the captain was seated in a small, secluded alcove towards the back of the observation deck. He was hunched over with his arms resting on his thighs, hands clasped in front of him gazing out the transparent aluminum at the stars. Spock simply stood there at parade rest, hands behind his back, waiting for the captain to look up. He was sure the captain knew he was there, very little got past James Kirk. Spock studied the captain's reflection in the large viewing portal. He looked tired.

Blue eyes looked up to meet his gaze in the portal, "What can I do for you Mr. Spock?"

"I am sorry to disturb your privacy Captain, but I would like to speak to you about our conversation. The one that took place before you beamed down to Sestis IV."

"Yes?" The captain wore a guarded look upon his face.

"I would like to apologize, Captain." Spock watched the captain's brow lift in surprise. "I made certain assumptions, which was wrong of me. I can only concede to having been swayed to that opinion based on my own relationship with my mother," he admitted.

Jim sat up straight and swung his head around to look over his shoulder at his first officer with a contemplative look.

"I was not aware that you had any difficulties in your relationship with your mother, Spock."

Spock took a deep breath, "Before that day on Vulcan, in the Katric Ark, I had not spoken to my mother since my acceptance into starfleet. She did not agree with my decision. I thought eventually she would come to accept my choice."

Spock paused here for a moment and Jim waited patiently for whatever the Vulcan was going to say.

"I shall always regret that I never took that first step toward reconciliation, because now I shall never know. I did not want you to repeat my mistakes and suffer as I have."

"Spock," Jim stood up and laid a hand on Spock's shoulder for just a moment, projecting sympathy and understanding. He knew how difficult it must have been for the Vulcan to admit that. "Do not doubt that your mother loved you and was proud of you. Any parent would be proud of a son who has accomplished as much as you have. You're like... the perfect son. I know, because I'm not. Sometimes a situation can get away from a person, even with the best of intentions. I am sure that your mother did not intend to sunder your relationship, but sometimes a problem can seem insurmountable and we can't seem to find the right words to fix it. Humans have a bad habit of putting off until tomorrow, what we don't want to deal with today and before we know it, years have passed us by. I am sure that in time, you and your mother would have found a way to reconcile. You must have loved each other very much."

"How can you think that?" Spock asked.

"Because  _you_  loved your mother so much, Spock, even if that disagreement kept you separated for years. It was obvious to anyone who was there that day in the transporter room. Believe me, that kind of love is not one-sided. You knew love because you were shown love," Jim answered with assuredness.

"I am sorry you were not shown that love from your own mother, Jim. I am sorry I assumed the conflict was caused by you."

"Yeah, me too," Jim reflected, "In more ways than one." He then took a deep breath, "Look Spock, I know I come off as an ass sometimes, but I'm not a cruel person. At least, I don't think I am. I do understand why you were upset and I thank you for caring, but I have valid reasons for my behavior, even if you can't understand them."

"I believe I do understand, Captain."

"Maybe you do," Jim conceded, turning back to look out the portal.

The two men were quiet with their own thoughts for a few minutes.

"You are very pensive tonight, Captain. Are you considering Admiral Pike's offer?"

Jim swung back around, surprise on his face. "Does the whole ship know about this?" he asked, exasperated.

"No, Jim, just Doctor McCoy and myself. The admiral required witnesses for the application. We would never share this information without your permission."

"I know, Spock," Jim huffed, slapping a hand on his thigh and turning back toward the portal, "I'm just at odds with myself tonight."

Spock took a step so he was standing right next to Jim. "If I may be so bold as to inquire, Captain, what is the dilemma? Admiral Pike desires to take a parental role in your life. He seems to be a steadying influence and has exhibited a marked partiality for you. Are these not desirable qualities?"

"You make it sound so logical, Mr. Spock. Don't you think I am a little too old to be adopted?"

"Is one ever too old to profit from the guidance of an elder?" he countered.

"You make it sound so simple." Jim glanced over at his first, conflict in his gaze, "I really don't know what to do, Spock."

"I believe my mother would have said, "Do what feels right.""

"That's the problem. I'm not sure what I feel about our relationship. The admiral had my younger self leave a vid for me explaining the past few days and the decision they made, but I feel so disconnected to it all."

"Perhaps I can be of assistance?"

"You know," Jim drawled, considering his first officer, "my younger self did mention that I should come to you for help. What did he do?" Jim asked suspiciously.

"Our young Captain Jimmy did not trust you to make the right decision, obviously with reason." Spock ignored the look of indignation on Jim's face and continued, "He wanted you to understand how he felt and he realized the limitations of putting that information in a vid. We discussed his options extensively this afternoon."

Jim's jaw dropped as his genius put together where Spock was going with this at lightening speed. "Oh, he didn't! Really? A mind meld? You agreed to this?" he managed to sputter.

"Yes, to all. It seemed the most logical mechanism for delivery." Spock held up one hand, "If you would permit, I will return your memories of the past few days to you. I believe it will dispel the feeling you have of being disconnected and perhaps help to clarify the situation for you."

"You planned this the whole time didn't you?" Jim wore an astonished look.

"I did not plan on doing this tonight, if that is your meaning. I approached you only to express my regret for my actions, but you seem to be in need of your memories sooner rather than later."

Spock stood there silently, waiting for Jim's reply.

"Yeah, ok. Do it."

Spock put his fingers against the meld points on Jim's face, whispering, "My mind to your mind."


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a tag-on. I messed up and left this out of the last chapter. Sorry......... :(

* * *

 

Spock pulled his hands away from his captain's face and waited.

Jim took a deep breath and opened his eyes. "Wow. I feel like I was really there."

"You were there, Captain. You simply did not remember. Now, that has been remedied."

"Ha! Now that vid makes sense. Poor Scotty! I'll have to apologize. And  _you_  Mr. Spock, kissing Lieutenant Uhura in the corridor? Tsk, tsk. Not very professional." Jim watched as his first officer turned slightly green around his ears and decided revenge was indeed sweet, but then Jim turned serious.

"I  _am_  sorry you were exposed to my mother's vitriol, Spock. I guess you do understand my situation a little better now."

"I am also regretful, Jim, regretful that I exposed your five-year old self to a situation that proved detrimental. Not only the injury to your psyche, but the physical injury that could have resulted if you had been successful in your appropriation of that shuttle."

"I guess we're even now, Mr. Spock," Jim said with a bittersweet smile," You gave me a tremendous gift in restoring my memories... thank you for that."

"I believe that one of your earth idioms would be appropriate here, Jim." Spock paused looking Jim straight in the eye, "What are friends for? Hopefully this will help to give you the clarification you seek."

Jim gave Spock a tired smile, "I hope you are right. I'm going to turn in now. I have a lot to think about," and Jim's hand came up to clasp Spock's shoulder. "Goodnight my friend."

Spock turned to watch the captain walk away and could not help but ponder, 'what would Jim be like ten years from now?' This young, brash man was so impetuous and yet had moments of such brilliant perspicacity. One day, with the honing of age and experience, James T. Kirk would truly be a force to be reckoned with.


	21. Chapter 21

* * *

 

"Night," Jim waved and gave a weak smile, trying to suppress a yawn, as he walked out of the officer's mess. He had remembered promising Bones to eat and had planned to grab a quick sandwich before retiring for the night. The few people who were in the mess hall, eating a late dinner, sidetracked those plans. It had taken him quite a while to eat his sandwich and make his escape. They had all taken turns approaching the captain, expressing their sentiments about him being restored to his proper age. The feelings had varied from relief to elation. 'At least no one seemed disappointed,' he thought, striding quickly away from the mess hall.

XX

Walking down the corridor, the captain nodded to the occasional crewman. His mind wandered, as he walked back to his cabin, mulling over everything from the past four days.

When Jim stopped walking, he looked up and found himself not in front of his own cabin door, but staring at the suite given to the admiral. Making a decision, he opened the door panel and walked into the suite. Standing still for a few moments, he let his eyes adjust to the dimly lit room. "Chris," he called out in a low voice. All was quiet.

He visually examined the living area, memories and associated emotions pressing against him. Seeing a faint light coming from the back of the suite, Jim headed that way. The bathroom door was open. Peering through the open doorway, Jim found the room empty. Looking across the bath, he saw that the door to the adjoining room was open and the light was on, spilling through the doorway, illuminating the empty bathroom. He quietly walked through the bath and stopped in the doorway, observing the man seated on the bed. The admiral's hand was resting on something in his lap and his attention was consumed by it.

Leaning against the doorway, Jim cleared his throat and the admiral looked up at him. "Hey, I called your name, but no one answered," He said softly, "am I interrupting?"

"No," Chris smiled at him, "just wool gathering. How are you, Jim? Any questions about the vid that I ..."

"I remember," Jim interrupted, suddenly feeling very awkward.

Chris' brow went up and he looked at Jim expectantly, "Oh?"

"Yeah, um..., Spock had them. My memories, I mean." He started picking at his thumbnail, fidgeting. "My younger self gave them to him and Spock gave them to me. I mean, he did that crazy Vulcan voodoo, transferred them," Jim lifted his hand and touched his temple, "melded." He stuttered to a stop, seeing the wide grin on Chris' face and felt his own face go warm.

Chris' smile got even bigger. "I deduced that."

"Yeah, I guess I'm rambling," he said rubbing his forehead.

"So, is this a good thing, you remembering?"

Jim looked down at the floor and took a deep breath. He raised both hands and ran them through his hair, making it messier than usual. "This is so complicated," he said, blue eyes searching the admiral's face.

"Not really," Chris replied. "Come on over here and sit down." He patted the bed next to himself and set whatever he was holding behind him.

"Okay," Jim nodded and some part of him wondered why he was so damn apprehensive. He crossed the room and he came to a stop as he neared the bed, he saw the object that Chris had been holding. It was a small set of blue pajamas. The pajamas he had worn the night before, and Jim blushed remembering climbing into bed with the admiral. Memories of vulnerability, security, and sanctuary came to mind.

Chris saw where Jim's attention was focused. "Hey, we had a deal. I won't tell if you don't tell," he said trying to break the tension.

Jim looked up for a moment, his eyes impossibly blue and then they hardened to an icy grey. "I have a question."

Chris straightened his back, sensing the significance of the moment, "Ok, shoot."

The young man's voice shook when he spoke, "You want to adopt me now. You...came for me, but where were you when I really needed you? Where were you when Frank was beating the shit out of me? Where were you after Tarsus?" he finished breathing hard.

Chris made a move as though to get up and Jim put up his hands, warding him off and taking a step back. "I really needed you then. I used to go to bed every night praying that you would show up the next day and take me away. But you know what? I eventually resigned myself to the fact that you weren't coming. I learned the hard way that I could only depend on myself. Then you show up out of nowhere, in a bar in Iowa, and take up where you left off. What am I supposed to think? I can't handle depending on you that much again Chris, only to be disappointed once more."

"Am I allowed to explain?"

"Explain?" Jim gave a broken laugh. "You think you can explain?"

"I can try."

"Alright, fine. Explain. This had better be good."

The admiral took a deep breath, "I couldn't come within fifty meters of you. Your mother had a restraining order put on me after she married Frank."

Jim's brows were raised in astonishment, "Come on. You can do better than that," he said derisively.

"It is the truth. You can look up the arrest record, 2241. I had come back from deep space that year. I beat the shit out of Frank when I found bruises on you. You said you fell off your bike. I knew better than that. You could do all sorts of tricks on that bike, probably with your eyes closed! There was no way you fell off your bike. Besides, I could tell you were lying. So, I confronted Winona about it. She begged me not to interfere, said she needed Frank. She said you were at that awkward, clumsy age; Frank would never lay a finger on you. All the while she was going on, he stood behind her, with his arms crossed, giving me this smug look. So, I reacted, didn't think, and in the end, you were the one who suffered for it. I am sorry, Jim. I let you down. After that, Winona wouldn't even let me talk to you. The restraining order was in effect until you turned eighteen. At that point, I couldn't find you. I did try, Jim. As for Tarsus, I had no idea you were in that hellhole until you were at the academy and I reviewed your sealed records. I'm sorry, Jim. I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am that you had to go through that," Chris finished up with tears in his eyes.

Jim's throat suddenly felt clogged and he cleared it. "I'm...I'm sorry about everything I said before, I shouldn't have doubted you," he voiced quietly, taking a step closer to the older man, "I didn't know."

"How could you know? You were just a child and Winona sure wasn't around to explain it to you. No one was there for you, but I would like to be there for you now, Jim." He looked at Jim, his eyes beseeching, "Please, tell me I am not too late?"

"Oh my God," Jim whispered, burying his face in his hands, "Why would anyone want me? I'm so fucked up."

Chris quickly rose and closed the distance between them. Grabbing Jim by the shoulders, he said adamantly, "You're not fucked up!"

Jim raised his head, giving Chris an incredulous look. "Well, ok, maybe a little, but that's Winona's fault. She was never there for you." Chris looked at him, feeling the pain in Jim's soul that was so apparent in his eyes. He took Jim's face in his hands, keen eyes also seeing the hope mixed with the pain. "Let me be there for you, Jim."

"Why? Why do you want to do this?"

"Because I love you. You need me, whether you realize it or not and I need you too. I won't let you down this time, son. I promise."

Jim shook his head, blinking back the tears that threatened. "Yeah, ok."

"Yeah?" Pike's eyes crinkled with his smile and Jim nodded reaffirming his decision.

Strong arms enveloped Jim and pulled him close. Feeling drained, he leaned his head against the older man's shoulder and returned the embrace.

After a few moments, Jim let go and stepped back giving the admiral a small smile. Rubbing his eyes, suddenly feeling exhausted, Jim could not help the yawn that overtook him and swayed slightly.

"You should just sleep here tonight," the admiral said with a voice of authority, steering Jim toward the bed. "Emotional transference from melding can be tricky and exhausting. I would feel better keeping you close tonight, just in case. You've been through a lot today."

"Is that the admiral speaking or my new father?" Jim asked, sitting on the bed.

"Both," the admiral answered with a smile, crossing over to the replicator. "I'll get you some fresh pajamas. I don't think the ones on the bed are going to fit anymore."

Jim snorted a laugh in reply and fell back on the bed, his eyes falling closed as he listened to the soft sounds of the admiral moving about - 'no, his father... well, admiral also... whatever. It was all good,' he thought, as sleep claimed him.

 

* * *

 

Jim slowly rose up through the haze of sleep. He could hear the sound of water running and for a disoriented moment, wondered why Spock had left the door open to their connected bathroom. The water turned off and Jim opened his eyes and turned his head toward the bath, remembering where he was.

The admiral was standing there in the doorway drying his hands on a towel and scrutinizing Jim. "Well, about time you woke up. I was just about ready to toss a wet washcloth at your face."

Laughing, Jim raised his hands above his head and stretched, "Yeah, I remember those wet cloths whenever I slept over. Not a good way to wake up in the morning."

"How are you feeling this morning?"

Jim glanced back up at the admiral, seeing concern in the older man's eyes, "Good, I'm really good," he said throwing back the covers and sitting up. He was still dressed in his blacks. The pajamas were sitting, folded neatly, on a chair and his gold command shirt was missing, as well as his boots. He shook off his sleep like a wet dog shaking off water and looked around for his boots.

Pike eyed him with amusement, "Your boots are under the table over there," he said pointing, with the towel still in his hand. "I may be your father now, and maybe I should have stripped you, but you're not five anymore; that's going above and beyond the call of duty."

"Ha, I appreciate it," Jim said, crossing the room to retrieve his boots.

The admiral's face sobered up a little, "Jim, we are heading to Earth. I know you are trying to avoid this, but you really should attend that ceremony. It would be kind of pointless without you there." He watched the younger man's face for any reaction, trying to gauge his disposition, but nothing was forthcoming. Jim was wearing his captain's face right now, perfectly neutral. 'He really has that perfected,' Chris thought with admiration.

"You know, I'll be there with you. You can sit with me. You won't have to sit with Winona. You deserve this, Jim. Don't let your dislike of your mother get in the way of the recognition you've earned."

Jim raised a hand, "You can stop, I was planning on going. I don't need the recognition, I certainly wasn't seeking glory, but it is part of my job. I will go and play the part of Starfleet's golden boy and help with recruiting. Besides, this will have the added benefit of really pissing off my mother," he said with his most charming smile.

Chris just shook his head, before he could dissuade Jim from that line of thought, the door buzzed and Doctor McCoy walked in holding a tray laden with food.

"Bones!" Jim said with affection, thankful for the timing of the interruption.

"Good morning, Captain, Admiral. I take it that you two worked out your differences?" McCoy inquired.

"That we did, Bones," Jim smiled at his friend, "What is this, a breakfast celebration?"

"Well, considerin' that you spent the night here, I was hopin' that we would be celebratin' your adoption. I brought you your favorite blueberry pancakes, even brought syrup," McCoy smiled.

The admiral looked at Jim affectionately; glad to see him in such a good mood after their talk. He glanced down at the tray in McCoy's hands, "I see the pancakes and blueberries Doctor, but what is under that large cover?"

Jim all but jumped up and down in his excitement, "Did you bring me a celebration cake?"

McCoy looked over at the admiral, "Congratulations, you're now the proud father of a bouncing, infantile, adult."

"Oh, come on, Bones. Did you bring me cake?" Jim said, ignoring the other two men's laughter.

"Sort-a," McCoy hedged, in the face of Jim's enthusiasm. "Ya see," he explained as he removed the cover from the plate, "you're not five years old anymore. Ya have ta watch your cholesterol. I brought celebration bran muffins!" he said proudly.

Chris Pike burst out in laughter at the look on Jim's face.

Jaw falling open, the captain stood there, hands on hips, looking forlornly at the bran muffins, "What the f...?"

He never finished the statement though because, with perfect timing, a damp towel flew through the air and hit Jim square in the face.


	22. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obviously, in my universe, Chris Pike was injured but never died. I am going with Jim's birthday in January as it was in Star Trek 2009.

* * *

 

Jim was seated on a hard plasteel chair, back straight, listening to Admiral Bennett drone on. His dress uniform felt uncomfortably confining with the sun shining down on him. He reached up and slid one finger in his collar trying to alleviate some of the discomfort. Admiral Pike elbowed him. Jim glanced at the older man sitting next to him and their eyes met.

"Stop fidgeting," Pike murmured, "It's almost over."

Jim frowned and lowered his hand, trying to sit still. A soft breeze suddenly picked up and he closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply, enjoying the brief respite from the stifling afternoon air.

Every January, for as long as Jim Kirk could remember, his birthday was spent at the Kelvin's Memorial Day service, sitting for hours in the cold winter air. It was different, being at this memorial service in the summer and not on his birthday. Of course, a lot of things were different this year. For one, Jim was seated next to Chris Pike and Admiral Archer. His mother was seated on the opposite side of the platform, to the right of the podium. Every now and then Jim could feel the hairs on the back of his neck prickle and figured his mother must be looking at him. He did his best to ignore her. The next big difference was that this was a rededication ceremony. It had taken the better part of a year to rebuild after the USS Vengeance had crashed into San Francisco, destroying a large part of Starfleet headquarters. The Kelvin Memorial had been among the casualty list, but fixing it had been on the bottom of the agenda. Now, months later, it had been resurrected and they were rededicating it. The situation was inconsistent enough from his childhood, that Jim was able to somewhat relax. His mind drifted back to his earlier confrontation with his mother. He had to admit, it had felt good - liberating...

* * *

_Jim pushed his way through the crowd. Heading to the platform, he intended to find Chris and sit with him. It was slow going, having to smile, say hello, and shake hands with acquaintances. He finally reached the base of the platform where they were supposed to sit, when a shadow fell across his path. Looking up, Jim's gaze fell upon his mother. She was dressed to a tee and looked particularly noxious, wearing a tight smile on her face. "Hello mother," he said, aware of the photographers standing nearby._

_She took a step closer to him, "I'm glad you came to your senses."_

_Jim smiled a fake smile for the cameras, but it didn't reach his eyes, "Let me make one thing perfectly clear," he said, in a voice pitched only for Winona's ears and still smiling, "I didn't come here for you." He leaned in closer to Winona, looking for all the world like the devoted son, "I am doing my duty to Starfleet. However, I **will**  thank you for signing me over to Chris. I wish you'd done it twenty years ago and saved us both a lot of pain."_

_Winona gasped, "You're not still going through with that are you? Why?"_

_"Why? You really have to ask me that 'Mother'? Because I want to be as far removed, from you and your poison, as I can possibly be. Don't forget to smile for the cameras," he said leaning away from her. "Goodbye mother, have a good life." He flashed one more brilliant smile for the cameras and walked away leaving a stunned Winona behind him._

* * *

Jim's deliberation was brought to an end when Chris leaned into him and whispered, "Wake up; you're on in a few."

Jim brought his attention back to Admiral Bennett. The admiral was expounding on Jim's career in Starfleet, making it sound like he had been there for at least a decade. When the admiral motioned with his hand, Jim glanced over at Chris' twinkling eyes, took a deep breath and joined him at the podium, standing at attention.

"Captain James T. Kirk, members of your family, distinguished Members of Starfleet, ladies and gentlemen, members of the press; we have come here today not only to rededicate this memorial, but to honor the courage of a very brave young man. His was a very special kind of courage. In the face of death, he risked his life that his remaining crew might live. Of course the details are classified," The admiral said, to a round of laughter. When the crowd had quieted, he continued, "Another man showed this same courage years ago when he piloted the USS Kelvin into a Romulan ship, saving eight hundred of his crew. I guess we should not be surprised that this man was his father, George Kirk. It seems fitting that the first recipient of the Kelvin Award is James Kirk. As we salute the valor of this soldier, we salute the best in the Federation tradition. You have demonstrated indomitable courage, determination, and professional skill. With this medal comes the Federation's enduring gratitude. We thank you for what you have done. You stand as a symbol - reminding all of us of our continuing responsibilities as citizens and our continuing obligations as a federation. If we are worthy of your sacrifice and the sacrifice of those of your comrades, then we shall never forget them.[1] Captain James T. Kirk, it is my honor and privilege to present you with the Kelvin award for conspicuous gallantry and intrepidity in action at the risk of your life above and beyond the call of duty." The admiral pinned the award to Jim's chest and then all Starfleet personnel stood as one and saluted him.

Jim looked out into the sea of faces and saw his command crew. He grinned at them so hard his face hurt.

Admiral Bennett shook his hand and told him the President sent his regrets that he could not be there to present the award himself. Jim posed with the admiral and smiled for the cameras.

It was almost one hour before Jim could break free. The novelty of all the attention had worn off and he was ready to leave. He turned around and looked for Chris. He found him off to the side, talking with Admiral Archer. As though he could feel his gaze, Chris looked up and smiled at Jim. He raised an arm in invitation and Jim walked over. Chris hugged him to his side and whispered, "I'm so proud of you. I know George would have been too." He took a step away, keeping one hand on Jim's back and turned to Admiral Archer, saying teasingly, "Well, Jonathon, should I keep him?"

The elderly admiral laughed, "I'd say so." Jim blushed a painful red. Only the upper echelon in Starfleet and his close friends knew about the adoption. Jim wanted to keep it that way. This was private.

Jim pulled at his collar, "I'm ready to blow this popsicle stand and get into something a little bit more comfortable."

Admiral Archer laughed, "I'll second that. Good afternoon gentlemen."

Jim stood at attention and saluted, partly out of respect but mostly to tease the old admiral, "Sir," he snapped out, knowing Archer loved it.

"You're incorrigible," Archer grumped, and poked Jim in the chest, "that shiny new medal isn't fooling anyone. Good luck Chris, you've got your hands full with this one," and he walked off, chuckling, ignoring the patently false look of indignation on Jim's face.

XX

"Did you tell your friends where to meet us?" Chris asked, as they turned to leave.

"Yeah," Jim started to answer, when he caught sight of his mother standing off to one side.

"Do you want to talk to her?" Chris questioned.

Jim thought about it for a moment, "No, I've already said all that I want to her."

Chris gave Jim that considering look that made Jim feel like Chris could see into his soul. It gave him a warm feeling inside.

"Go ahead on," Chris said, "I'll meet up with you in a few."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely, I haven't had my chance to say all that I want to her," and he gave Jim a chilling smile.

 

* * *

Winona watched Jim look at her assessingly, speak a few words to Chris, and walk off. Chris then turned to her and started to walk over. He didn't look too happy.

"Winona," he said in way of a greeting.

"Chris. You enjoying playing daddy with my kid?" She said, waspishly.

Chris didn't rise to the bait; instead, he gave as good as he got, "It's a pity you never got to know your own son, Winona. He a fine young man, despite having had you for a mother."

Winona ignored the barb. "He looks so much like George in his uniform," she murmured, with a faraway look in her eyes.

Chris suddenly felt sorry for Winona, she looked very fragile at this moment, "He's not some shadow of George. It's too bad you could never get past that and now you have lost him, Winona. I mean it. It will take a miracle if that boy ever speaks to you again." Chris sighed deeply, "He overheard the conversation you had with Commander Spock."

She looked momentarily distressed and then it disappeared. "Well, I guess it's a good thing he's got you now. I never did know what to do with that boy. He used to get into everything and I didn't have the energy to deal with him," She focused on Chris' face, "You always seemed to understand him though. He was always so eager to spend time with you. Ha, you know, there were times I was jealous of your relationship with Jimmy."

"Jealous? He was right there _with_ you Winona, all you had to do was spend time with him! It wasn't hard for me to please him, he was starved for attention."

Winona's face tightened back into the hardened mien, "That's not my problem anymore, is it?"

Chris' expression turned to one of disgust, "I think we're done here. Goodbye Winona."

"Chris," she said, laying a hand on his arm before he could leave, "why did you come over to speak with me? It wasn't just to tell me what a terrible mother I was. We both already knew that."

"I guess I did want some retribution today, but mostly... thanks for giving him to me, Winona. It was the right decision."

She let go of his arm and looked like she would say something, but in the end, just nodded and turned and walked away.

Chris watched her disappear in the crowd. He shook his head in disbelief and sadness. Shaking off the sorrow, he straightened his shoulders, and left to find his son. He smiled to himself. He liked the way that word sounded - son.

 

* * *

 

The group in the back corner of the upscale vegetarian restaurant filled the air with their laughter.

"This place is pretty good Bones," said Jim, leaning back and patting his full belly, "good choice."

"I figured this was one of the few menus that wouldn't send ya into anaphylaxis. We wouldn't want ta have ta visit the hospital tonight. Not a great way ta top off such an auspicious day," he grinned at Jim.

"You're starting to collect quite a few medals now, Captain," Sulu commented.

"I'll tell you what, Sulu," Jim said pointing his glass of beer at the helmsman, "Next time - you can climb into the warp core - and get the medal."

They all hit their glasses together and toasted, "To Sulu's new medal!"

"I must be drunk if climbing into a warp core is starting to look like a good idea," Sulu giggled.

Chekov piped up, "Nyet, nyet. You put on containment suit, then climb in warp core and win medal."

"Yeah, Jim," Sulu slurred, "why didn't you put on a containment suit?"

"The Keptin was not hefing enough time," Chekov reasoned.

Jim just sat back, with a smile on his face, enjoying watching his command crew. It had been a long time since they had any shore leave. It was good to see them relaxing and having fun.

"That's a damn depressing subject," Pike complained, "talk about something else. That's an order!"

"I am in agreement with the admiral," Spock stated.

"Aye," Scotty seconded, "I 'aven't 'ad enough ta drink ta be talkin' 'boot that."

"I know somethin' that will please everah one," McCoy declared. He waved his hand to a pretty looking blonde and she disappeared into the kitchen.

"What's this," Jim snorted, "more liquor? Did you figure out something that everyone here at the table is willing to drink? Cause this liquor tab is killing me."

"What do you mean killing you?" Pike complained, "I'm paying the tab!"

"In that case, bring it on!" Jim cheered and everyone at the table joined in his laughter.

Just then, the blonde returned pushing a cart with a large cake on it. It had white icing and a big sparkler on top, shining and spitting little silver sparks everywhere.

Jim leaned over the table to get a better look. The cake said, 'Congratulations Jim' on it. "Cake? You got me a cake?" He looked over at McCoy, "Is it real cake this time? It's not, like, a giant bran cake, is it?"

"Real cake," McCoy laughed. "Yellow cake. I was thinkin' of you, Mr. Spock."

"Thank you Doctor," Spock replied, "That was most considerate of you."

"Nah," McCoy waved a dismissive hand at him.

Jim turned to McCoy, "Thanks, Bones. That was really nice of you."

"Well, Jim. Considerin' all you been through these last few days, I figured ya deserve to have your cake and eat it too," he said, smiling and handing his friend a large slice of cake.

 

The End.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks, hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> [1] Presentation ceremony at the white house, March 9, 1967.


End file.
